SYNOD OF BISHOPS
________________________________________________
XIV ORDINARY GENERAL ASSEMBLY
THE VOCATION AND MISSION OF THE FAMILY
IN THE CHURCH AND IN THE CONTEMPORARY WORLD
THE FINAL REPORT OF THE SYNOD OF BISHOPS
TO THE HOLY FATHER, POPE FRANCIS
Vatican City
24 October 2015
Table of Contents
Introduction
PART I
The Church Listening to the Family
Chapter I
The Family and the Anthropological-cultural context
The Socio-Cultural Context
The Religious Context
Anthropological Change
Cultural Contradictions
Conflicts and Social Tensions
Fragility and Strength of the Family
Chapter II
The Family in the Socio-Economic context
The Family as the Irreplaceable Resource of Society
Policies Favouring the Family
Loneliness and Insecurity
The Economy and Growth
Poverty and Exclusion
Ecology and the Family
Chapter III
Family, Inclusion and Society
The Elderly
Widowhood
The Last Stages of Life and Loss in the Family
Persons with Special Needs
Persons Who Are Unmarried
Migrants, Refugees and Those Suffering Persecution
Some Unique Challenges
Children
Women
Men
Young People
Chapter IV
Family, Affectivity and Life
The Importance of an Affective Life
Formation in
Self-Giving
Weakness and
Immaturity
Technologies in Human
Procreation
A Pastoral Challenge
PART II
The Family in God’s Plan
Chapter I
The Family in Salvation History
The Divine Pedagogy
The Icon of the Trinity in the Family
The Family in Sacred Scripture
Jesus and the Family
Chapter II
The Family in the Magisterium of the Church
The Teaching of the Second Vatican Council
Blessed Pope Paul
VI
Pope Saint John Paul
II
Pope Benedict
XVI
Pope Francis
Chapter III
The Christian Teaching on the Family
Marriage in the Order of Creation and the Fullness of the
Sacrament
The Indissolubility and Fruitfulness of the Conjugal
Union
The Goods of the
Family
The Truth and Beauty of the Family
Chapter IV
Towards the Ecclesial Fullness of the Family
The Intimate Bond Between the Church and the Family
The Grace of Conversion and
Fulfilment
Mercy: The Core of
Revelation
Part III
The Mission of the Family
Chapter I
The Formation of the Family
Marriage
Preparation
The Celebration of
Marriage
The Initial Years of Family Life
The Formation of Priests and Other Pastoral
Workers
Chapter II
Family, Generativity, Upbringing
The Transmission of Life
Generative
Responsibility
The Value of Life in All Its
Stages
Adoption and Foster
Parenting
The Upbringing of
Children
Chapter III
The Family and Pastoral Accompaniment
Complex
Situations
Accompaniment in Different
Situations
Discernment and
Integration
Chapter IV
The Family and Evangelization
A Family
Spirituality
The Family: Object of Pastoral Care
The Relationship with Cultures and
Institutions
Openness to
Mission
Conclusion
Prayer to the Holy Family
Abbreviations
| AA |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council, Decree
Apostolicam Actuositatem (18
November 1965) |
| AG |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council, Decree
Ad Gentes (7 December 1965) |
| CCC |
|
Catechism of the Catholic Church, (15 August 1997) |
| CV |
|
Benedict XVI, Encyclical Letter
Caritas in Veritate (29 June
2009) |
| DCE |
|
Benedict XVI, Encyclical Letter
Deus Caritas Est (25 December 2005) |
| GS |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council, Pastoral Constitution
Gaudium et Spes
(7 December 1965) |
| EG |
|
Francis, Apostolic Exhortation
Evangelii Gaudium (24 November 2013) |
| EN |
|
Blessed Paul VI, Apostolic Exhortation
Evangelii Nuntiandi (8 December
1975) |
| FC |
|
Saint John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation
Familiaris Consortio (22
November 1981) |
| IL |
|
III Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops,
The Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the Context of Evangelization,
Instrumentum Laboris, (24 June 2014) |
| LF |
|
Francis, Encyclical Letter
Lumen Fidei
(29 June 2013) |
| LG |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council, Dogmatic Constitution
Lumen Gentium
(21 November 1964) |
| MI |
|
Francis, Letter motu proprio
Mitis Iudex Dominus Iesus
(15 August 2015) |
| MV |
|
Francis, Bull
Misericordiae Vultus (11 April 2015) |
| NA |
|
Second Vatican Ecumenical Council, Decree
Nostra Aetate (28 October 1965) |
| RM |
|
Saint John Paul II, Encyclical Letter
Redemptoris Missio (7 December
1990) |
1. We, the synod fathers, gathered in synod around Pope Francis, wish to thank him
for calling us to reflect with him, under his guidance, on the vocation and
mission of the family today. In humility, we offer him the fruit of our work,
aware of its limitations. Nonetheless, we are able to say that we have
constantly taken into consideration the families of the world, their joys and
hopes, their sorrows and anxieties. As Christ’s disciples, we know that “nothing
genuinely human fails to raise an echo in their hearts. For theirs is a
community composed of human persons. United in Christ, they are led by the Holy
Spirit in their journey to the Kingdom of their Father and they have welcomed
the news of salvation which is meant for everyone. That is why this community
realizes that it is truly linked with humankind and its history by the deepest
of bonds”( GS, 1). We thank the Lord for the great number of Christian
families who generously and faithfully respond to their vocation and mission,
despite the many obstacles, misunderstandings and trials. These families need
the encouragement of the entire Church, who, together with her Lord and
supported by the action of the Spirit, knows that she has a word of truth and
hope to address to all humankind. Pope Francis recalled this in opening the
final phase of this synodal journey dedicated to the family: “God did not create
us to live in sorrow or to be alone. He made men and women for happiness, to
share their journey with someone who complements them,[...]. It is the same plan
which Jesus presents [...] summarized with these words: ‘From the beginning of
creation [God] made them male and female; for this reason a man will leave his
father and his mother and cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh. So they
are no longer two but one flesh’ ( Mk 10:6-8; cf. Gen 1:27; 2:24).”
God “joins the hearts of two people who love one another, he who joins them in unity
and indissolubility. This shows us that the goal of conjugal life is not simply
to live together for life, but to love one another for life! In this way Jesus
re-establishes the order which was present from the beginning. [...] only in the
light of the folly of the gratuitousness of Jesus’ paschal love will the folly
of the gratuitousness of an exclusive and life-long conjugal love make sense” ( Homily
at the Opening Mass of the Synod, 4 October 2015).
2. Even amidst joys and trials, the family is the primary and fundamental
“school of humanity” (cf. GS 52). Despite signs of a crisis, in various
contexts, in the institution of the family, the desire to form a family remains
vibrant among the younger generations. The Church, expert in humanity and true
to her mission, announces with deep conviction the “Gospel of the Family,” which
she received as revealed by Jesus Christ and constantly taught by the Fathers,
the masters in spirituality and the Church's Magisterium. In the course of the
Church’s life, the family has assumed special significance: “So great was his
love that he [God] began to walk with mankind, he began to walk alongside his
people, until the right time came and then he gave the greatest demonstration of
love: his Son. And where did he send his Son? To a palace, to a city, to an
office building? He sent him to a family. God came into the world in a family.
And he could do this because that family was a family with a heart open to love,
a family whose doors were open.” (Francis, Address at the Feast of Families,
Philadelphia, 27 September 2015). In these times, families are sent as
“missionary disciples” (cf. EG, 120). With this in mind, the family ought
to rediscover that it is an essential agent in evangelization.
3. The Holy Father called the Synod of Bishops to reflect on the reality of
the family. “The convenire in unum around the Bishop of Rome is indeed an
event of grace, in which episcopal collegiality is made manifest in a path of
spiritual and pastoral discernment.” (Francis, Address at the Prayer Vigil in
preparation for the Extraordinary Synod on the Family, 3 October 2014). In
the span of two years, the Extraordinary General Assembly (2014) and the
Ordinary General Assembly (2015) have undertaken the task of reading the signs
of God and human history, in faithfulness to the Gospel. The first synod, to
which the People of God made an important contribution, resulted in the
Relatio Synodi. A tri-fold approach characterized our dialogue and
reflections, namely, assessing the complex reality of the family today from the
vantage point of faith, indicating both its lights and shadows; looking to
Christ so as to contemplate once more, with renewed freshness and enthusiasm,
what Christ has revealed and is handed down in the faith of the Church; and
seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit so as to discern ways in which the
Church and society can renew their commitment to the family, founded on marriage
between a man and a woman. The Christian proclamation on the family is good news
indeed. The family, beyond being called upon to respond to today's challenges,
is primarily called by God to a greater awareness of its missionary character.
The synodal assembly was enriched by the presence of couples and families in a
discussion which directly concerned them. Preserving the invaluable work of the
preceding assembly, dedicated to the challenges of the family, we now turn our
attention to its vocation and mission in the Church and the contemporary world.
4. The mystery of life’s creation on earth fills us with wonder and
delight. The family, founded on the marriage of a man and a woman, is splendid
to behold and irreplaceable in an interpersonal loving relationship which
transmits life. Love cannot be reduced to the illusion of a passing moment; love
is not an end in itself; love seeks the trustworthiness of a “thou” in another
person. In promising mutual love, in both good times and bad, love wants itself
to continue until death. At the Synod, the fundamental desire of forming loving
relationships, which are sound and inter-generational in the family, was
significantly discussed, even beyond cultural and religious lines and the
changes in society. In the free act of a man and a woman saying “yes” to each
other for their entire life, God’s love is made present and is experienced. In
the Catholic faith, marriage is a sacred sign in which God’s love becomes
effective in his Church. The Christian family is, therefore, a part of the life
of the Church: a “domestic church.”
The couple and conjugal life are not abstract realities; they remain
imperfect and vulnerable. Consequently, an act of will is always necessary in
changing oneself, forgiving and starting over. In our responsibility as pastors,
we are concerned about the lives of families. We want to heed their real-life
situations and challenges, and accompany and illuminate them with the love of
the Gospel. We want to give them strength and help them grasp their mission
today. We wish to accompany them lovingly, even in their concerns, giving them
courage and hope which come from the mercy of God.
The Socio-Cultural Context
5. Docile to what the Holy Spirit asks us, we draw near to today's families
in their diversity, knowing that “Christ, the new Adam [...] fully reveals a
person to him/herself” ( GS, 22) We turn our attention to the contemporary
challenges which affect the multiple aspects of life. We are aware of the
principal tendencies in anthropological-cultural changes in which individuals,
in their emotional life and life as a family, receive increasingly less support
from social structures than in the past. On the other hand, we must also take
into consideration the development of an exaggerated individualism which
distorts family ties, giving precedence to the idea that one can make onself
according to one’s own wishes, and thus weakens every family tie. We are
thinking of mothers and fathers, grandparents, brothers and sisters, immediate
and distant relatives and the bonding of two families at every wedding. We must
not forget the lived reality: everywhere, strong family ties continue to give
life to the world. People are strongly dedicated in caring for the dignity of
every person — man, woman and child — and for ethnic groups and minorities, as
well as in defence of the rights of every human being to grow up in a family.
Their faithfulness would not be honoured, if we did not make a clear
reaffirmation of the value of family life, especially in relying on the light of
the Gospel, even in different cultures. We are aware of the major
anthropological cultural changes today which have an impact on all aspects of
life. We remain firmly convinced that the family is a gift of God, the place
where he reveals the power of his saving grace. Even in our day, the Lord calls
a man and a woman to marry, abides with them in their life as a family and
offers himself to them as an ineffable gift. The Church is called to scrutinize
the signs of the times, interpreting “them in the light of the Gospel. Thus, in
language intelligible to each generation, she can respond to the perennial
questions which people ask about this present life and the life to come, and
about the relationship of the one to the other. We must therefore recognize and
understand the world in which we live, its explanations, its longings, and its
often dramatic characteristics” ( GS, 4).
The Religious Context
6. The Christian faith is strong and alive. Some regions of the world are
witnessing a significant drop in religion in society, which, consequently, has
its effect on family life. This approach tends to make religion a private matter
and to relegate it to family life only, thus running the risk of reducing the
witness and mission of the Christian family in the modern world. In places of
advanced social well-being, people are likely to set all their hope in a frantic
quest for social success and economic prosperity. In other regions of the world,
the adverse effects of an unjust world economic order leads to forms of religion
exposed to sectarian and radical extremism. We should also mention movements
based on political and religious fanaticism, often openly hostile to
Christianity. In creating instability and spreading chaos and violence, they are
the cause of much misery and suffering in family life. The Church is called to
provide guidance to families in their practice of religion so as to give it a
Gospel orientation.
Anthropological Change
7. In various cultures, relationships and a sense of belonging are
important values which shape an individual’s identity. The family provides the
opportunity for personal fulfilment and contributes to the growth of other
persons in society-at-large. The Christian and ecclesial identity received at
Baptism comes to fruition in the beauty of family life. In today's society, we
observe a multiplicity of challenges which manifest themselves to a greater or
lesser degree in various parts of the world. In different cultures, many young
people demonstrate a resistance in making definitive commitments in
relationships, and often choose to live together or simply to engage in casual
relationships. The declining birth rate is a result of various factors,
including industrialization, the sexual revolution, the fear of overpopulation,
economic problems, the growth of a contraceptive mentality and abortion.
Consumerism may also deter people from having children, simply so they can
maintain a certain freedom and life-style. Some Catholics have difficulty in
leading a life in keeping with the Catholic Church's teaching on marriage and
the family, and in seeing, in such teaching, the goodness of God's creative
design for them. The number of marriages taking place in some parts of the world
is declining, while separations and divorces are not uncommon.
Cultural Contradictions
8. In great areas across the planet, cultural situations affecting the
family display a conflicting character, even under the extensive influence of
mass media. On the one hand, marriage and the family are held in high esteem and
the idea still prevails that the family represents a safe haven for the most
profound and gratifying sentiments. On the other hand, the concept of the family
is marred by excessive expectations and, consequently, exaggerated claims on
each other. The tensions caused by an overly individualistic culture, which
concentrates on possessing and gratification, leads to intolerance and
aggression in families. Mention can also be made of a certain feminism which
looks on motherhood as exploiting women and as an obstacle to her full
realization. Furthermore, we are witnessing an ever-increasing tendency among
people of conceiving a child simply as a means of self-affirmation and, at
times, by any means possible.
Today, a very important cultural challenge is posed by “gender”
ideology which denies the difference and reciprocity in nature of a man and a
woman and envisages a society without gender differences, thereby removing the
anthropological foundation of the family. This ideology leads to educational
programmes and legislative guidelines which promote a personal identity and
emotional intimacy radically separated from the biological difference between
male and female. Consequently, human identity becomes the choice of the
individual, which can also change over time. According to our faith, the
difference between the sexes bears in itself the image and likeness of God ( Gen
1:26-27). “This tells us that it is not man alone who is the image of God or
woman alone who is the image of God, but man and woman as a couple who are the
image of God. [...] We can say that without the mutual enrichment of this
relationship — in thought and in action, in affection and in work, as well as in
faith — the two cannot even understand the depth of what it means to be man and
woman. Modern contemporary culture has opened new spaces, new forms of freedom
and new depths in order to enrich the understanding of this difference. But it
has also introduced many doubts and much skepticism. [...] The removal of the
difference [...] is the problem, not the solution” (Francis, General Audience,
15 April 2015).
Conflicts and Social Tensions
9. The affective and spiritual quality of family life is seriously
threatened by the proliferation of conflicts, impoverishment and the migration
process. Violent religious persecution, particularly the persecution of
Christian families, is ravaging entire areas of our planet, creating an exodus
of persons and masses of refugees which exert great pressure on the capabilities
of the host-country. Families enduring these trials are very often forcibly
uprooted and, in practice, completely shattered. The loyality of Christians to
their faith, their patience and their attachment to their countries of origin
are admirable in every respect. The efforts of all political and religious
leaders to spread and protect the culture of human rights remains inadequate.
While respecting freedom of conscience, living in harmony with each other must
be fostered among everyone, based on citizenship, equality and justice. The
burden of economic policies and social inequity, even in affluent areas, has a
severe impact in providing for children and caring for the sick and the elderly.
Dependence on alcohol, drugs or gambling sometimes results from these social
contradictions and from the disadvantages caused by these contradictions in
family life. The accumulation of wealth in the hands of a few and the misuse of
resources allocated for family programmes increase the impoverishment of
families in many regions of the world.
Fragility and Strength of the Family
10. In today’s socio-cultural crisis, the family, the basic human community,
is painfully being weakened and is exhibiting signs of its fragile nature.
Nonetheless, the family is also demonstrating its ability to find in itself the
courage to confront the inadequacy and failure of institutions in the formation
of the person, the quality of social ties and the care of the most vulnerable.
Therefore, a proper appreciation of the resilience of the family is particularly
necessary in order to be able to strengthen its fragile character. Such strength
lies in the family’s capacity to love and to teach how to love. As wounded as
the family may be, it can always grow beginning with love.
The Family as the Irreplaceable Resource of Society
11. “The family is a school for human enrichment [...] and the foundation of
society” ( GS, 52) All the relations among relatives in a family, beyond
the small family unit itself, offer valuable assistance in the raising of
children, the transmission of values, the safeguarding of inter-generational
ties and the enrichment of the spiritual life. While in some regions of the
world this is deeply a part of culture, in other places, it appears to be
waning. Surely, in a period of a dramatic break-up in life-situations, the
multiple levels and facets of relations between family members and relatives are
often the only points of connection with a person’s origins and family ties. The
support rendered by family relationships is even more necessary where
work-mobility, migration, disasters and fleeing one’s native land compromise
the stability of every family relationship.
Policies Favouring the Family
12. The authorities responsible for the common good must be seriously
committed to the primary good of society, namely, the family. The concern
guiding the administration of civil society must provide for and promote family
policies which support and encourage families, primarily those of modest means.
More concrete measures of compensation are necessarily done by the family in the
context of modern “welfare systems” which redistribute resources and perform
tasks essential to the common good and help counterbalance the negative effects
of social inequity. “The family merits special attention on the part of those
responsible for the common good, since it is the basic cell of society. Families
foster the solid bonds of unity on which human coexistence is based, and,
through the bearing and education of children, they ensure the future and the
renewal of society.” (Francis, Address at the Airport of El Alto, Bolivia,
8 July 2015).
Loneliness and Insecurity
13. In cultures where relationships are weakened by an egotistical manner of
living, loeliness is increasingly becoming more common. More often than not,
only a sense of the presence of God sustains persons in this emptiness. A
general feeling of powerlessness in the face of oppressive socio-economic
situations, increasing poverty and a lack of employment require people
increasingly to seek work far from the family in order to provide for its needs,
thereby causing prolonged separation which weakens relations and isolates family
members from each other. The State has the responsibility to create conditions
and legislation to guarantee the future of younger generations and to assist
them in fulfilling their desire to form a family. Corruption, which sometimes
undermines these public institutions, deeply affects the trust and the hope of
future generations and others as well. The negative consequences of this
mistrust are evident, from dramatic demographic change to difficulties in
raising children, from reluctance to welcome newborn life to looking upon the
elderly as a burden, until emotional distress is so prevalent that it sometimes
results in aggression and violence.
The Economy and Growth
14. Material resources and economic conditions affect the family in two ways,
by either contributing to its growth and solidity or by impeding its strength,
unity and cohesion. Economic constraints prohibit a family’s access to
education, cultural activities and involvement in the social life. In many ways,
the present-day economic situation is keeping people from participating in
society. Families, in particular, suffer from problems related to work, where
young people have few possibilities and job offerings are very selective and
insecure. Workdays are long and oftentimes made more burdensome by extended
periods away from home. This situation does not help family members to gather
together or parents to be with their children in such a way as to nurture their
relationships each day. “A growth in justice” requires “decisions, programmes,
mechanisms and processes specifically geared to a better distribution of income”
( EG, 204) and an integral promotion of the poor becomes effective.
Adequate policies on behalf of the family are needed, if, in the future, the
family is to live in a harmonious and dignified fashion.
Poverty and Exclusion
Ecology and the Family
16. The Church, in response to papal teaching, wants people to thoroughly
re-examine the overall orientation of the global system. From this vantage
point, she collaborates in the development of a a new ecological culture which
includes a new mentality, new policies, new educational programmes, a new manner
of living and a new spirituality. Since everything is deeply inter-related, as
Pope Francis states in his Encyclical Laudato si’, exploring aspects of
an “integral ecology” must include not only the environment, but also human,
social and economic conditions for a sustainable development and the stewardship
of all creation. The family, which is part of a significant human ecology,
should be adequately protected (cf. John Paul II, Centesimus Annus, 38).
Through our family, we belong to the whole of creation; we contribute in a
specific manner to promoting ecology; we learn the meaning of the body and the
language of love from the difference between a man and a woman and we
collaborate in the divine plan of God, the Creator (cf. LS, 5, 155). To
be aware of all this requires that a real conversion takes place within the
family. “In the family we first learn how to show love and respect for life; we
are taught the proper use of things, order and cleanliness, respect for the
local ecosystem and care for all creatures. In the family we receive an integral
education, which enables us to grow harmoniously in personal maturity”(LS,
213).
The Elderly
17. One of the most serious and urgent tasks of the Christian family is to preserve
the link between generations to ensure the transmission of the faith and the
basic values of life. Most families have great respect for the elderly,
surrounding them with affection and considering them a blessing. We extend a
special word of appreciation to persons in associations and family movements who
are engaged in work on behalf of the elderly — spiritually and socially —
especially those who work in conjunction with priests in the care of souls. In
some places, the elderly are considered essential in ensuring stability,
continuity and the historic memory in families and society. In highly
industrialized societies, where their number is increasing as a result of a
decreasing birth-rate, they risk being seen as a burden. On the other hand, the
care that they require often puts a strain on their loved ones. “The elderly are
men and women, fathers and mothers who were before us on our own street, in our
own home, in our daily battle for a dignified life. They are men and women from
whom we have received much. The elder is not alien. We are that elder: in the
near or far future, but inevitably, even if we don’t think. And if we don’t
learn how to treat the elder better, that is how we will be treated.” (Francis,
General Audience, March 4, 2015).
18. Grandparents in a family deserve special attention. They are the link
between generations, and ensure a psycho-affective balance through the
transmission of traditions and customs, values and virtues, where younger
persons can recognize their roots. Moreover, grandparents frequently collaborate
with their sons and daughters in economic matters, the upbringing of their
children and the transmission of the faith to their grandchildren. Many people
can testify that they owe their initiation into the Christian life to their
grandparents. As the Book of Ecclesiastes states: “Do not dismiss what the old
people have to say; [...] from them you will learn how to think, and the art of
the timely answer” (Eccl 8:9). We hope that in the family, in succeeding generations, the
faith might be communicated and preserved as a precious heritage for new
families.
Widowhood
19. Widowhood is particularly difficult for those who have chosen to live
marriage and family life as a gift. However, from the vantage point of faith,
various aspects can be appreciated. From the moment of enduring a loss, some
display an ability to concentrate their energies in a greater dedication to
their children and grandchildren, finding in this expression of love a renewed
mission in raising their children. The feeling of emptiness resulting from the
death of a spouse is filled, in a certain sense, with the love of family members
who show the importance in the family of the person who has lost a spouse, and
in this manner permits him/her to maintain the precious memories of the
marriage. Those who do not have relatives to whom to dedicate their care and
from whom to receive affection, should be aided by the Christian community with
a particular attention and availability, especially if they are poor. Those who
have lost a spouse can celebrate a new sacramental union without detracting from
the value of their previous marriage (cf. 1 Cor 7:39). From the beginning
and in the course of time, the Church has paid special attention to widows (cf.
1 Tim 5:3-16), even establishing the ordo viduarum which might
even be reinstated in the present-day.
The Last Stages of Life and Loss in the Family
20. Illness, injury or old age which result in death greatly affect family
life. Mourning is especially heartbreaking at the death of children and young
people. This painful experience requires special pastoral attention and the
involvement of the Christian community. The importance of the final stages of
life is all the more necessary today, when many make the attempt to remove every
trace of death and dying. The elderly who are weak and dependent are sometimes
unfairly exploited simply for economic advantage. Many families show that it is
possible to approach the last stages of life by emphasizing the importance of a
person’s sense of fulfilment and by integrating one’s life in the Lord’s Paschal
Mystery. A great number of elderly people are received into church institutions,
where, materially and spiritually, they are able to live in a peaceful, family
atmosphere. Euthanasia and assisted suicide are serious threats to families
worldwide, practices which are legal in many countries. The Church, while firmly
opposing these practices, feels obliged to assist families who take care of
their elderly and sick members, and to promote in every way the dignity and
worth of each person until the natural end of life.
Persons with Special Needs
21. Particular attention needs to be given to families whose members have
special needs. In these cases, the sudden entrance of a person with a disability
into a family creates profound and unexpected challenges and upsets a family’s
equilibrium, desires and expectations. This situation gives rise to mixed
emotions and difficult decisions in coping and planning, while imposing duties,
urgencies and new responsibilities. The reality of the family and every aspect
of its life are profoundly disturbed. Families which lovingly accept the
difficult trial of a child with special needs are to be greatly admired. They
render the Church and society an invaluable witness of their faithfulness to the
gift of life. In these situations, the family has the opportunity to discover,
together with the Christian community, new approaches, new ways of acting, a
different manner in understanding and identifying the family and in welcoming
and caring for the mystery of the fragility of human life. People with
disabilities are a gift for the family and an opportunity to grow in love,
mutual aid and unity. The Church, God's family, wants to be a welcoming home to
families with persons with special needs (cf. John Paul II, Homily for the
Jubilee of the Disabled, 3 December 2000). She collaborates in strengthening
the family’s relationships and training and offers ways for participating in the
liturgical life of the community. For many persons with special needs, who are
abandoned or alone, the Church‘s institutions, who welcome them, are often their
only families. The Synod expresses profound gratitude and deep appreciation to
these institutions. The process of integrating people with special needs into
society is more difficult because of an enduring stigma and prejudice — even
to the point of a theorization based on eugenics. On the contrary, many
families, communities and ecclesial movements become aware of and celebrate the
gifts of God in these people with special needs, particularly their unique
communication skills and ability to bring people together. Special attention
needs to be given to disabled persons who outlive their parents and others in
their family who assisted them in life. The death of those who loved them and
whom they loved makes these persons even more vulnerable. If the family, in the
light of the faith, accepts the presence of people with special needs, they will
be able to recognize and guarantee the quality and value of every human life,
with its proper needs, rights and opportunities. This approach will encourage
care and services on behalf of these disadvantaged persons and will encourage
people to draw near to them and provide affection at every stage of their life.
Persons Who Are Unmarried
22. Many people who are unmarried in life are not only devoted to their own
family but often render great service in their group of friends, in the Church
community and in their professional lives. Sometimes, their presence and
contributions are overlooked, however, causing in them a sense of isolation.
More often than not, many exhibit noble motives in their full engagement in art,
science and the good of humanity. Many put their talents at the service of the
Christian community in the name of charity and volunteer work. Others remain
unmarried, because they have consecrated their lives for love of Christ and
neighbour. Their dedication greatly enriches the family, the Church and society.
Migrants, Refugees and Those Suffering Persecution
23. Special pastoral attention needs to be given to the effects of migration on
the family. In various ways, migration has its effects on entire populations in
different parts of the world. The Church has exercised a major role in this
area. Maintaining and developing this witness to the Gospel (cf. Mt
25:35) is more urgently needed today than ever. The truth of the history of
humanity and the history of migrants is inscribed in the life of families and
entire peoples. Even our faith makes this clear: we are all pilgrims. This
conviction ought to lead to understanding, openness and responsibility in the
challenges created by migration; those challenges from experiences of suffering
as much as those looked upon as an opportunity for a better life. Human
mobility, which corresponds to the natural historical movement of peoples, can
prove to be a genuine enrichment for both the family that migrates and the
country that welcomes these people. Furthermore, forced migration of families,
resulting from situations of war, persecution, poverty and injustice and marked
by the vicissitudes of a journey that often puts lives at risk, traumatizes
people and destabilizes families. In accompanying migrants, the Church needs a
specific pastoral programme addressed to not only families in migration but also
members of the families who remain behind. This pastoral activity must be
implemented with due respect for their cultures, for the human and religious
formation from which they come and for the spiritual richness of their rites and
traditions, even by means of a specific pastoral care. “It is important to view
migrants not only on the basis of their status as regular or irregular, but
above all as people whose dignity is to be protected and who are capable of
contributing to progress and the general welfare. This is especially the case
when they responsibly assume their obligations towards those who receive them,
gratefully respecting the material and spiritual heritage of the host country,
obeying its laws and helping with its needs” (Francis, Message for the World
Day of Migrants and Refugees 2016, 12 September 2015). Migration is
particularly dramatic and devastating to families and individuals, when it takes
place illegally and is supported by international networks of human trafficking.
This is equally true when it involves women or unaccompanied children who are
forced to endure long periods of time in temporary facilities and refugee camps,
where it is impossible to start a process of integration. Extreme poverty and
other situations in the break-up of families sometimes even lead families to
sell their children for prostitution or for organ trafficking.
24. A new country’s encounter with a new culture is made all the more difficult
when genuine warmth and acceptance is lacking with respect to the rights of all
and a sound, harmonious living together. The Christian community is directly
concerned in such a task. “The responsibility to offer refugees hospitality,
solidarity and assistance lies first of all with the local Church. She is called
on to incarnate the demands of the Gospel, reaching out without distinction
towards these people in their moment of need and solitude” (Pontifical Council
Cor Unum and Pontifical Council for the Pastoral Care of Migrants and
Itinerant People, Refugees: A Challenge to Solidarity, 26). A sense of
being uprooted from one’s country, a nostalgia at being deprived of one’s roots
and difficulties in being integrated into society, evident today in many places,
still endure. They bring to light new suffering in second and third generation
migrant families, fuelling fundamentalism and a violent rejection by the host
culture. A valuable resource in overcoming these difficulties can precisely be
found in families coming together, in which a key role in this process of
integration is often played by women in their sharing their experience in
bringing up their children. In fact, even in the insecurity of their situation,
they bear witness to a culture of family love that encourages other families to
welcome and protect life by practicing solidarity. Women can pass on to future
generations the living faith in Christ that has sustained them in the difficult
experience of migration and has been strengthened as a result. The persecution
of Christians, as well as those of ethnic and religious minorities in many parts
of the world, especially in the Middle East, are a great trial for not only the
Church but also the entire international community. Every effort should be made
to encourage, even in a practical way, families and Christian communities to
remain in their native lands. Benedict XVI said: “A Middle East without
Christians, or with only a few Christians, would no longer be the Middle East,
since Christians, together with other believers, are part of the distinctive
identity of the region” (Apostolic Exhortation Ecclesia in Medio Oriente,
31).
Some Unique Challenges
25. Some societies still maintain the practice of polygamy; in other places,
arranged marriages are an enduring practice. In countries where the presence of
the Catholic Church is in the minority many mixed marriages and marriages of
disparity of cult exist, with all the difficulties they entail with regard to
the form required by canon law, Baptism, bringing up the children and mutual
respect from the vantage point of the differences of belief. Where relativism or
indifference may pose a threat to such marriages, there may also be a chance to
promote the spirit of ecumenical and interreligious dialogue in a harmonious
co-existence of communities, living in the same place. In many places, not only
in the West, the practice of living together before marriage is widely spreading
as well as a type of cohabitation which totally excludes any intention to marry.
In addition, civil legislation often undermines marriage and the family.
Secularization in many parts of the world is greatly diminishing any reference
to God and inhibiting any sharing of the faith socially.
Children
26. Children are a blessing from God (Gen 4:1); they ought to be of
primary concern in the family and society and are a priority in the Church’s
pastoral activity. “In fact, from the way children are treated society can be
judged, not only morally but also sociologically, whether it is a liberal
society or a society enslaved by international interests. [...] Children remind
us [...] that are all sons and daughters. [...] And this always brings us back
to the fact that we did not give ourselves life but that we have received it.”
(Francis, General Audience, 18 March 2015). Children, however, often
become the point of contention between parents and real victims in families with
grave problems. In many ways, children's rights are neglected. In some areas of
the world, children are considered a real commodity and seen as cheap workers to
be used in fighting wars and as victims of all kinds of physical and
psychological violence. Migrant children are exposed to various types of
suffering. Sexual exploitation of children is one of the most scandalous and
perverse practices in present-day society. In societies marked by violence due
to war, terrorism or the presence of organized crime, children are forced to be
raised in degrading family situations. In large cities and their peripheral
areas the so-called phenomenon of street children is a dramatically worsening
situation.
Women
27. Women have a crucial role in the life of the individual, family and society.
“Every human person owes his or her life to a mother, and almost always owes
much of what follows in life, both human and spiritual formation, to her”
(Francis, General Audience, 7 January 2015). A mother conserves the
memory and meaning of birth for a lifetime: “But Mary kept all these things
pondering on them in her heart” (Lk 2:19). Truly, however, the status of
women in the world varies considerably, primarily because of socio-cultural
factors. The dignity of women needs to be defended and promoted. The problem is
not simply a result of economic resources, but one of different cultural
outlooks, as highlighted by the plight of women in many recently developed
countries. In many places, discrimination results simply because one is a woman:
the gift of motherhood is penalized rather than valued. Likewise, in some
cultures, sterility in a woman is the cause of social discrimination. Not to be
overlooked is the growing phenomena of violence in which women are victims
within the family. The exploitation of women and violence to their bodies are
often linked to abortion and forced sterilization. In addition, practices
related to procreation also have negative consequences, such as, a “womb for
hire” or the marketing of gametes and embryos. The emancipation of women
requires a rethinking of the duties of the spouses in their reciprocity and
shared responsibility for family life. The desire for a child at any cost has
not resulted in happier and more sound relations within families, but, in many
cases, has actually worsened the inequality between women and men. A
contributing factor in the social recognition of the role of women is a greater
appreciation of their responsibilities in the Church: their involvement in
decision-making, their participation in the administration of some institutions
and their involvement in the formation of ordained ministers.
Men
28. Man plays an equally decisive role in family life, particularly in
reference to the protection and support of his wife and children. A model for a
man in a family is St. Joseph, the just man, who in the hour of danger, “took
the child and his mother by night” (Mt 2:14) and brought them to safety.
Many men are aware of the importance of their role in the family and live
according to their masculine role. The absence of a father gravely affects
family life and the upbringing of children and their integration into society.
This absence, which may be physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual,
deprives children of an appropriate model of paternal behaviour. The increasing
duties of women working outside the home has not been suitably compensated by a
greater commitment by the man in the home. Today, a man is increasingly losing
sight of his role in protecting his wife and children from all forms of violence
and degradation. “Husbands — Paul says — must love their wives ‘as their own
body’ (Eph 5:28); to love them as Christ ‘loved the Church and gave
himself up for her’ (v. 25). You husbands [...] do you understand this? Do you
love your wives as Christ loves the Church? [...] The effect of this radical
devotion asked of man, for the love and dignity of woman, following the example
of Christ, must have been tremendous in the Christian community itself. This
seed of evangelical novelty, which reestablishes the original reciprocity of
devotion and respect, matured throughout history slowly but ultimately it
prevailed.” (Francis, General Audience, 6 May 2015).
Young People
29. Many young people continue to see marriage as the great desire of their
life and the idea of forming their own family as a fulfilment of their
aspirations. Nevertheless, young people, in practice, have varying attitudes
with regard to marriage. Often they are led to postpone a wedding for economic
reasons, work or study. Some do so for other reasons, such as: the influence of
ideologies which devalue marriage and family; the desire to avoid the failures
of other couples; the fear of something they consider too important and sacred;
the social opportunities and economic benefits associated with simply living
together; a purely emotional and romantic conception of love; the fear of losing
their freedom and independence; and the rejection of something conceived as
purely institutional and bureaucratic. The Church is concerned at the distrust
of many young people towards marriage and is troubled at the haste with which
many of the faithful decide to put an end to one marital commitment and
establish another. In their plans of love, young people who are baptized are to
be encouraged to have no doubts in viewing the riches available in the Sacrament
of Matrimony, to be aware of the strong support they can receive from the grace
of Christ and to seize the opportunity of participating fully in the life of the
Church. The reasons for the young’s renouncing marriage and their
discouragement in marrying need to be more carefully discerned. Young people can
gain greater confidence in the choice of marriage thanks to those families who,
in the Christian community, provide a trustworthy example of enduring witness
over time.
The Importance of an Affective Life
30. “Anyone who wishes to give love must also receive love as a gift.
Certainly, as the Lord tells us, one can become a source from which rivers of
living water flow (cf. Jn 7:37-38). Yet to become such a source, one must
constantly drink anew from the original source, which is Jesus Christ, from
whose pierced heart flows the love of God (cf. Jn 19:34)” (DCE, 7)
. To take care of one’s self, to know one’s self interiorly, to live better in
line with one’s emotions and feelings and to seek quality in emotional
relationships requires opening oneself to the gift of loving others and the
desire to build a creative, empowering and sound reciprocity as that in
families. The Church’s challenge is to assist couples in the maturation of the
emotional aspect of their relationship and in their affective development
through fostering dialogue, the life of virtue and trust in the merciful love of
God. The commitment to full dedication required in Christian marriage is a
strong antidote to the temptation of a person’s living an existence exclusively
turned in upon itself.
Formation in Self-Giving
31. The dynamic of family relations has a primary impact on the formation of
younger generations. The speed of changes occurring in present-day society makes
the work of accompanying a person’s affective formation in sound growth and
development more difficult. This process requires appropriate pastoral action
which is abundantly equipped with a knowledge imbued with Scripture and Catholic
doctrine and provided with suitable educational tools. A proper knowledge of the
psychology of the family will serve as an assistance in ensuring that the
Christian vision might be effectively transmitted. Such an effort might already
begin with the catechesis of Christian Initiation. This formation is also to
highlight the admirable character of the virtue of chastity, since the virtue of
chastity is understood to mean the integration of affections which fosters
self-giving.
Weakness and Immaturity
32. Many cultural tendencies exist in today's world whose goal is to impose a
sexuality without any limits and where all affective aspects are explored, even
the more complex ones. The idea of emotional weakness is very timely; a
narcissistic, unstable and changing affectivity does not help a person to
achieve greater maturity. The following cultural tendencies need to be firmly
denounced: the prevalence of pornography and the commercialization of the body
which is promoted by a distorted use of the internet, forced prostitution and
exploitation. In this regard, couples are sometimes uncertain, hesitant and
struggling to find ways to grow, many of whom tend to remain in the primary
stages of their emotional and sexual life. A crisis of the couple destabilizes
the family and can reach the point, through separation and divorce, to have
serious consequences on adults, children and society, thereby weakening
individual and social ties. The decline in population, due to an anti-birth
mentality and promoted by global policies of “reproductive health,” threatens
the link between generations. This situation also gives rise to a generalized
economic impoverishment and loss of hope.
Technologies in Human Procreation
33. The technological revolution in the field of human procreation has
introduced the ability to manipulate the reproductive act, making it independent
of the sexual relationship between a man and a woman. In this way, human life
and parenthood have become a modular and separable reality, subject mainly to
the wishes of individuals or couples, who are not necessarily heterosexual and
properly married. This phenomenon has occurred recently as an absolute novelty
on the stage of humanity and is increasingly becoming more common. This
situation has profound implications in the dynamics of relationships, in the
structuring of social life and in legal systems which intervene to attempt to
regulate practices already in place and various situations. In this regard, the
Church feels required to speak a word of truth and hope, necessarily beginning
with the belief that each human being comes from God and lives constantly in his
presence: “Human life is sacred because from its beginning it involves ‘the
creative action of God’ and it remains forever in a special relationship with
the Creator, who is its sole end. God alone is the Lord of life from its
beginning until its end: no one can, in any circumstance, claim for himself the
right to destroy directly an innocent human being” (Congregation for the
Doctrine of the Faith, Instruction Donum vitae, Introd., 5, 22 February
1987; cf. John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae, 53).
A Pastoral Challenge
34. A reflection able to pose the important questions on being human is
productive in articulating the most profound aspirations of humanity. The great
values of marriage and the Christian family are a response to the search
inherent in human existence, even at a time characterized by individualism and
hedonism. People ought to be received with understanding and sensitivity to
their real-life situations and to learn how to continue their search for meaning
in life. Faith inspires a desire for God and to feel fully part of the Church,
even in those who are experiencing failure or are in very difficult situations.
The Christian message always contains the reality and dynamics of mercy and
truth, which converge in Christ: “The Church’s first truth is the love of
Christ. The Church makes herself a servant of this love and mediates it to all
people: a love that forgives and expresses itself in the gift of oneself.
Consequently, wherever the Church is present, the mercy of the Father must be
evident” (MV, 12). In formation for conjugal and family life, pastoral
care is to take into account the diversity of real-life situations. If, on the
one hand, we must promote pathways to ensure the formation of young people for
marriage; on the other, we must accompany those who live alone or, without
forming a new family, frequently remain connected to their family of origin.
Even couples who cannot have children should be given special pastoral attention
by the Church to help them discover God’s plan in their situation which is in
service to the whole community. Everyone needs to be understood, bearing in mind
that situations far from the life of the Church are not always desired;
oftentimes, they are created, and, at times, simply endured. From the vantage
point of faith, no one is excluded: all are loved by God and are important in
the Church’s pastoral activity.
35. Discerning the vocation of the family in the variety of situations
treated in the first part of this document requires a sure orientation in
formation and guidance. The necessary direction to follow comes from the Word of
God in human history, culminating in Jesus Christ who is “the Way, the Truth and
the Life” for every man and woman who make up a family. Consequently, we heed
what the Church teaches about the family in the light of Sacred Scripture and
Tradition. We are convinced that God’s Word responds to the deepest expectations
of human love, truth and mercy, and awakens the potential of giving and
receiving, even in broken and humbled hearts. In light of the Word, we believe
that the Gospel of the Family begins with the creation of humanity in the image
of God who is love and calls man and woman to love according to his likeness
(cf. Gen 1:26, 27). The vocation of the married couple and the family to
a communion of love and life continues in all stages of God’s plan, despite the
limitations and sins of the people. From the beginning, this vocation is founded
in Christ the Redeemer (cf. Eph 1:3-7). He restores the marriage covenant
as it was in the beginning (Mk 10:6), heals the human heart (cf. Jn
4:10) and gives it the ability to love as Christ loves the Church in offering
himself for her (Eph 5:32).
36. This vocation receives its ecclesial and missionary form from the
sacramental bond which consecrates the indissoluble, conjugal relationship
between a husband and a wife. The exchange of consent establishing this bond,
implies the couple’s commitment to mutual self-giving and receiving, which is
total and definitive and, biblically speaking, in “one flesh” (Gen 2:24).
The grace of the Holy Spirit makes the married couple’s union a living sign of
the bond between Christ and the Church. In this way, their union becomes, in the
course of their lives, a source of many graces: fruitfulness, witness, healing
and forgiveness. The wedding takes place in the community of life and love and
the family participates in the work of evangelization. The bride and groom, thus
becoming Christ’s disciples, are accompanied by him on the way to Emmaus; they
recognize him in the breaking of bread; and they return to Jerusalem enlightened
by his resurrection (cf. Lk 24:13-43). The Church proclaims the family’s
union with Jesus, by virtue of the Incarnation through which he is a member of
the Holy Family of Nazareth. Faith acknowledges the indissoluble bond between
the spouses as a reflection of the love of the Divine Trinity, which reveals
itself in the unity of truth and mercy proclaimed by Jesus. The Synod makes
itself the interpreter of the Church who witnesses and proclaims to the People
of God the clear teaching on the truth of the family, according to the Gospel.
No matter how distant, every family can attain mercy and be sustained by this
truth.
Chapter I
The Divine Pedagogy
37. Since the order of creation is determined by its orientation to Christ,
we must make distinctions in the grace of the covenant, without separating the
different degrees by which God communicates to humanity. Because of the divine
pedagogy, according to which the plan of creation is fulfilled through
successive stages in the order of redemption, we need to understand the novelty
of the Sacrament of Matrimony in continuity with natural marriage as it was in
the beginning, based on the order of creation. From this perspective, we
understand the salvific action of God, even in the Christian life. Because
everything was done through Christ and for him (cf. Col 1:16), Christians
“gladly and reverently lay bare the seeds of the Word which lie hidden among
their fellows. At the same time, however, they need to look to the profound
changes which are taking place among nations” (AG, 11). The incorporation
of the believer into the Church through Baptism is completed in the other
Sacraments of Christian Initiation. In the domestic Church, which is his family,
the believer starts that “dynamic process, one which advances gradually with the
progressive integration of the gifts of God” (FC, 9), by an ongoing
conversion to the love that saves us from sin and gives fullness of life. Amidst
the challenges of contemporary society and culture, faith looks to Jesus Christ
and seeks to contemplate and adore his face. He looked with love and tenderness
on the women and men whom he encountered and accompanied their steps with truth,
patience and mercy in announcing the requirements of the Kingdom of God. “Every
time we return to the source of the Christian experience, new paths and
undreamed-of possibilities open up” (Francis, Address at the Prayer Vigil in
Preparation for the Synod on the Family, 4 October, 2014).
The Icon of the Trinity in the Family
38. Scripture and Tradition give us access to a knowledge of the Trinity which
is revealed in the features of a family. The family is the image of God who “in
his deepest mystery is not all by himself, but a family, since he has in himself
fatherhood, sonship and the essence of the family, which is love” (John Paul II, Homily at Parafox Major Seminary, Puebla de Los Angeles
(Mexico), 28 January 1979). God is a communion of persons. At Christ’s Baptism,
the voice of the Father called Jesus his beloved Son, and, in this love, we come
to recognize the Holy Spirit (cf. Mk 1:10-11). Jesus, who has reconciled
all things in himself and has redeemed us from sin, not only returned marriage
and the family to their original form, but has also raised marriage to the
sacramental sign of his love for the Church (cf. Mt 19:1-12; Mk 10:1-12; Eph 5:21-32). In the human family,
gathered by Christ, the “image and likeness” of the Holy Trinity (cf. Gen
1:26) is now visible, a mystery from which flows all true love. Through the
Church, marriage and the family receive the grace of the Holy Spirit from Christ
so as to bear witness to the Gospel of God's love until the fulfilment of the
Covenant on the Last Day, at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb (cf. Rev 19:9;
John Paul II, Catechesis on Human Love). The covenant of love and
fidelity, lived by the Holy Family of Nazareth, illuminates the principle which
gives form to every household, and enables it better to face the vicissitudes of
life and history. On this basis, every family, despite its weaknesses, can
become a light in the darkness of the world. “Here each of us understands the
meaning of family life, its harmony of love, its simplicity and austere beauty,
its sacred and inviolable character; may it teach us how sweet and irreplaceable
is its training, how fundamental and incomparable its role in the social order”
(Paul VI, Discourse at Nazareth, 5 January 1964).
The Family in Sacred Scripture
39. Through the fruitfulness of their love, man and woman continue the work of
creation and collaborate with the Creator in salvation history through
successive geneologies (Gen 1:28; 2: 4; 9:1,7; 10; 17:2,16; 25:11; 28:3;
35:9,11; 47:27; 48:3,4). The reality of marriage in its exemplary form is
outlined in the book of Genesis, to which Jesus also refers in his idea of
married love. Man feels incomplete, because he lacks “a helper fit for him”, who
“stands before him” (Gen 2:18-20) in an equal dialogue. The woman
participates, therefore, in the same reality of the man, represented
symbolically by the rib, or by the same flesh, as proclaimed in the song of the
man’s love: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Gen
2:23). They thus become “one flesh” (Gen 2:24). This foundational reality
of the marital experience is exalted in the expression of one belonging to the
other in the profession of love, pronounced by the woman in the Song of Songs.
The formula is similar to that of the covenant between God and his People (cf.
Lev 26:12): “My beloved is mine and I am his,... I am my beloved's and my
beloved is mine” (Cant 2:16; 6:3). Equally meaningful in this Canticle is the constant
intertwining of sexuality, eros and love, as well as the physical embrace
with tenderness, feeling, passion, spirituality and total self-giving. Fully
aware that death might interrupt the dialogue between him and her (cf. Cant
3 and 5), each one is certain that the power of love remains in overcoming all
obstacles: “love is strong as death” (Cant 8:6). To celebrate the
covenant of love between God and his people, biblical prophecy will utilize not
only nuptial symbolism (cf. Is 54; Jer 2:2; Ez 16), but the
entire family experience, as attested in a particularly intense manner by the
prophet Hosea. The ordeal he endured in marriage and the family (cf. Hos 1-3) becomes
a sign of the relationship between the Lord and Israel. The infidelity of the
people cannot surmount the enduring love of God which the prophet portrays as a
father who guides and draws his son to himself with the “bands of love” (cf.
Hos 11:1-4).
40. The words of eternal life, given by Jesus to his disciples, include his
teaching on marriage and the family. In them, we can recognize three basic
stages in God's plan. Firstly, there is the family of origin, when God, the
Creator, instituted the primordial marriage between Adam and Eve, as the solid
foundation of the family. God not only created human beings as male and female
(cf. Gen 1:27), but he also blessed them so that they might be fruitful
and multiply (cf. Gen 1:28). For this, “a man leaves his father and his mother
and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Gen 2:24).
Subsequently, in its historical form in the tradition of Israel, this union,
wounded by sin, underwent several variations: between monogamy and polygamy,
between stability and divorce and between reciprocity and subordination of woman
to man. Moses’ granting the possibility of divorce (cf. Deut 24:1ff),
which lasted to the time of Jesus, is to be understood within this framework.
Lastly, the reconciliation of the world took place with the coming of the
Saviour, not only restoring the original divine plan but leading the history of
God's People to a new fulfilment. Above all, the indissolubility of marriage (Mk
10:2-9) is not meant to be a burden but a gift to those who are united in
marriage.
Jesus and the Family
41. The example of Jesus is a paradigm for the Church. The Son of God came
into the world in a family. In his thirty years of hidden life in Nazareth — the
social, religious and cultural periphery of the Empire (cf. Jn 1:46) —
Jesus saw in Mary and Joseph a faithfulness lived in love. He began his public
life with the sign at Cana, done at a wedding feast (Jn 2:1-11). He
announced the Gospel of marriage as the fullness of revelation which restores
God’s original plan (cf. Mt 19:4-6). He shared in everyday moments of
friendship in the family of Lazarus and his sisters (cf. Lk 10:38) and in
the family of Peter (cf. Mt 8:14). He heard the cries of parents for
their children and raising them to life (cf. Mk 5:41; Lk 7:14,15),
thereby showing the true meaning of mercy, which implies the restoration of the
Covenant (cf. John Paul II, Dives in Misericordia, 4). This clearly
appears in the meetings with the Samaritan woman (cf. Jn 4:1-30) and the
adulteress (cf. Jn 8:1-11), in which the perception of sin is awakened by
the Jesus’ gratuitous act of love. Conversion “is an ongoing task for the whole
Church who, embracing sinners, (is) at once holy and always in need of
purification, (and) follows constantly the path of penance and renewal. This
endeavour of conversion is not just a human work. It is the movement of a
‘contrite heart,’ drawn and moved by grace to respond to the merciful love of
God, who loved us first”(CCC, 1428). God gratuitously forgives those who
are open to the action of his grace, which takes place through repentance,
combined with the intention of living life according to God's will, the effect
of his mercy by which he reconciles us to himself. God puts in our hearts the
ability to follow Christ by imitating him. The words and attitude of Jesus
clearly show that the Kingdom of God is the criterion on which every
relationship is defined (cf. Mt 6:33). Family ties, though fundamental, “are not
absolute” (CCC, 2232). In a manner which caused consternation in his listeners,
Jesus made family relations relative in the context of the Kingdom of God (Mk
3:33-35; Lk 14:26; Mt 10:34-37; 19:29; 23:9). This revolution in
affection, which Jesus introduced into the human family, is a radical call to
universal brotherhood. No one is excluded from this new community gathered in
Jesus' name, because all are called to be part of God's family. Jesus shows how
the divine condescendence may accompany the human journey with his grace,
transform the hardened heart with his mercy (cf. Ez 36:26) and guide its
fulfilment through the Paschal Mystery.
Chapter II
The Teaching of the Second Vatican Council
42. Based on what she has received from Christ, the Church has developed over the
centuries a rich teaching on marriage and family. One of the greatest examples
of this Magisterium was proposed by the Second Vatican Council in the Pastoral
Constitution Gaudium et Spes, which devotes an entire chapter to the
dignity of marriage and the family (cf. GS, 47-52). This document defines
marriage and the family in the following manner: “The intimate partnership of
married life and love has been established by the Creator and qualified by His
laws, and is rooted in the conjugal covenant of irrevocable personal consent.
Hence by that human act whereby spouses mutually bestow and accept each other a
relationship arises which by divine will and in the eyes of society too is a
lasting one.”(GS, 48). The “true love between husband and wife” (GS, 49)
involves a mutual gift of self, which is to include and integrate the sexual
dimension and affectivity according to the divine plan (cf. GS, 48-49). This
clearly shows that marriage and the conjugal love that gives it life, “are by
their nature ordained toward the begetting and educating of children” (GS,
50). Furthermore, the grounding of the couple in Christ is emphasized: Christ
the Lord “comes into the lives of married Christians through the Sacrament of
Matrimony” (GS, 48) and remains with them (sacramentum permanens).
He assumes human love, purifies it, brings it to fulfilment and gives the
married couple, with his Spirit, the ability to live it by permeating every
aspect of their life of faith, hope and charity. In this way, the couple, like
consecrated persons through a grace proper to them, builds up the Body of Christ
and is a domestic Church (cf. LG, 11), so that the Church, through fully
understanding her mystery, looks to the Christian family, which manifests that
mystery in an authentic way.
Blessed Pope Paul VI
43. Blessed Pope Paul VI, in the wake of the Second Vatican Council, greatly
developed the doctrine on marriage and the family. In a particular way, with the
Encyclical Humanae Vitae, he highlighted the intrinsic link
between
conjugal love and the generation of life: “Married love, therefore,
requires of
husband and wife the full awareness of their obligations in the matter
of
responsible parenthood, which today, rightly enough, is much insisted
upon, but
which at the same time should be rightly understood. [...] the exercise
of responsible parenthood requires that husband and wife,
keeping a right order of priorities, recognize their own duties toward
God,
themselves, their families and human society” (HV, 10). In the Apostolic
Exhortation Evangelii Nuntiandi, Paul VI highlighted the relationship
between the family and the Church: “One cannot fail to stress the evangelizing
action of the family in the evangelizing apostolate of the laity. At different
moments in the Church's history and also in the Second Vatican Council, the
family has well deserved the beautiful name of ‘domestic Church.’ This means
that there should be found in every Christian family the various aspects of the
entire Church. Furthermore, the family, like the Church, ought to be a place
where the Gospel is transmitted and from which the Gospel radiates” (EN,
71).
Pope Saint John Paul II
44. Pope Saint John Paul II devoted special attention to the family in his
catechesis on human love and the theology of the body. In them, he has given the
Church a wealth of reflections on the nuptial meaning of the human body and
God’s plan for marriage and the family from the beginning of creation. In
particular, by treating conjugal love, he described how spouses, in their mutual
love, receive the gift of the Spirit of Christ and live their call to holiness.
In the Letter to Families Gratissimam Sane and particularly in the
Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio, Pope John Paul II pointed to
the family as the “way of the Church.” He also offered a general vision of man
and woman’s vocation to love and proposed basic guidelines for the pastoral care
of the family and the presence of the family in society. “In matrimony and in
the family a complex of interpersonal relationships is set up — married life,
fatherhood and motherhood, filiation and fraternity — through which each human
person is introduced into the ‘human family’ and into the ‘family of God,’ which
is the Church” (FC, 15).
Pope Benedict XVI
45. Benedict XVI, in his Encyclical Deus Caritas Est, returned to the
topic of the truth of the love between man and woman, that is fully illuminated
only in light of the love of the Crucified Christ (cf. DCE, 2). He
stresses that “marriage based on exclusive and definitive love becomes the icon
of the relationship between God and his people and vice versa. God's way of
loving becomes the measure of human love” (DCE, 11). Moreover, in the
Encyclical Caritas in Veritate, he highlights the importance of family
love as a principle of life in society, a place where we learn the experience of
the common good. “It is thus becoming a social and even economic necessity once
more to hold up to future generations the beauty of marriage and the family, and
the fact that these institutions correspond to the deepest needs and dignity of
the person. In view of this, States are called to enact policies promoting the
centrality and the integrity of the family, founded on marriage between a man
and a woman, the primary vital cell of society, and to assume responsibility for
its economic and fiscal needs, while respecting its essentially relational
character” (CiV, 44).
Pope Francis
46. Pope Francis, in the encyclical Lumen Fidei, treats the connection
between the family and faith: “The first setting in which faith enlightens the
human city is the family. I think first and foremost of the stable union of man
and woman in marriage [...] Promising love for ever is possible when we perceive
a plan bigger than our own ideas and undertakings” (LF, 52). In the
Apostolic Exhortation Evangelii Gaudium, the Pope recalls the centrality
of the family among the cultural challenges of today: “The family is
experiencing a profound cultural crisis, as are all communities and social
bonds. In the case of the family, the weakening of these bonds is particularly
serious because the family is the fundamental cell of society, where we learn to
live with others despite our differences and to belong to one another; it is
also the place where parents pass on the faith to their children. Marriage now
tends to be viewed as a form of mere emotional satisfaction that can be
constructed in any way or modified at will. But the indispensable contribution
of marriage to society transcends the feelings and momentary needs of the
couple” (EG, 66). Pope Francis, in further treating issues relating to
the family, has dedicated an organic cycle of catechesis which thoroughly
examines the various persons in the family, their different experiences and the
stages of life.
Chapter III
Marriage in the Order of Creation and the Fullness of the Sacrament
47. The order of redemption illuminates and fulfils that of
creation. Natural
marriage, therefore, is fully understood according to its realization in
the
Sacrament of Matrimony: only in contemplating Christ does a person have
an
in-depth knowledge of the truth about human relationships. “Only in the
mystery
of the incarnate Word does the mystery of man take on light. [...]
Christ, the final Adam, by the revelation of the mystery of the Father
and
his love, fully reveals man to man himself and makes his supreme calling
clear” (GS, 22). Quite appropriately, we can use a Christocentric
hermeneutic to understand the natural properties of marriage, which make up the
goods of the spouses (bonum coniugum), namely, union, openness to life,
fidelity and indissolubility. In light of the New Testament, according to which
all things were created through Christ and for him (cf. Col 1:16; Jn
1:1ff), the Second Vatican Council wanted to express appreciation for natural
marriage and the positive elements in other religions (cf. LG, 16; NA,
2) and different cultures, despite their limitations and shortcomings (cf.
RM, 55). Discernment of the presence of the “seeds of the Word” in other
cultures (cf. AG, 11) can also be applied to the reality of marriage and
the family. In addition to true natural marriage, positive elements are present
in the forms of marriage in other religious traditions. We maintain that these
forms — still based on the true and stable relationship of a man and a woman —
are ordered to the Sacrament of Matrimony. While considering the human wisdom of
the people, the Church recognizes that this family is also the basic cell which
is necessary and fruitful in human coexistence.
The Indissolubility and Fruitfulness of the Conjugal Union
48. The faithfulness of God to the covenant, which cannot be revoked, is the
basis for the indissolubility of marriage. The all-inclusive, profound love
between husband and wife is not only based on human capacity: God supports this
covenant with the power of his Spirit. The choice that God made in our regard is
reflected, in some way, in the choice of a spouse: just as God keeps his promise
even when we fail, so love and conjugal fidelity maintain their value “in good
times and in bad.” Marriage is a gift and a promise of God, who hears the
prayers of those who ask for his help. The hardness of the human heart, its
limitations and its weakness in the face of temptation is a great challenge in
living a life in common. The witness of couples who faithfully live their
marriage highlights the value of this indissoluble union and awakens the desire
to constantly renew their commitment to fidelity. Indissolubility corresponds to
the profound desire of mutual and enduring love which the Creator has placed in
the human heart, a gift which he himself gives to each couple: “What God has
joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mt 19:6; Mk 10:9). The man and woman accept this gift and
care for it so that their love might be able to endure forever. Faced with the
sensibility of our times and the actual difficulty in maintaining life-long
commitments, the Church is called to propose the demands and a plan of life
according to the Gospel of the Family and Christian marriage. “St Paul, speaking
of new life in Christ, says that Christians — each one of them — are called to
love one another as Christ has loved them, that is to ‘be subject to one
another’ (Eph 5:21), which means to be at the service of one another. And here
he introduces an analogy between the husband and wife and Christ and his Church.
It is clear that this is an imperfect analogy, but we must take it in the
spiritual sense which is very lofty and revolutionary, and, at the same time,
simple, available to every man and woman who entrusts himself and herself to the
grace of God” (Francis, General Audience, 6 May 2015). Once again, this
proclamation gives hope!
The Goods of the Family
49. Marriage is “a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by
its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of
offspring” (CIC, can. 1055 - §1). In mutual acceptance, those who are
engaged promise each other a total gift of self, fidelity and openness to life.
In faith and with the grace of Christ, they recognize the gifts which God offers
them and commit themselves, in his name, in the presence of the Church. God
consecrates the love of a husband and a wife and confirms the indissoluble
character of their love, offering them the grace to live in faithfulness, mutual
integration and openness to life. Let us thank God for marriage because, through
the community of life and love, Christian spouses know happiness and experience
that God loves them personally, with feelings of warmth and tenderness. The man
and the woman, individually and as a couple, — recalls Pope Francis — “are the
image of God.” Their difference “is not meant to stand in opposition, or to
subordinate, but is for the sake of communion and generation, always in the
image and likeness of God” (General Audience, 15 April 2015). The unitive
end of marriage is a constant reminder that this love grows and deepens. Through
their union in love, the couple experiences the beauty of fatherhood and
motherhood and shares their plans, trials, expectations and concerns; they learn
care for each other and mutual forgiveness. In this love, they celebrate their
happy moments and support each other in the difficult passages of their life
together.
50. The fruitfulness of the couple, in a full sense, is spiritual. They are
living signs of the Sacrament of Matrimony and a source of life for the
Christian community and the world. The act of generation, showing the
“inseparable connection” between the unitive and procreative aspects — as
highlighted by Blessed Paul VI (cf. HV, 12) — must be understood in
light of the parents’ responsibility and commitment to the care and Christian
upbringing of their children, who are the most precious fruit of conjugal love.
From the very first moment of conception the child is a person, who transcends
those who have procreated them. “According to God’s plan, being a son and
daughter means to carry within oneself the memory and hope of a love which was
fulfilled in the very kindling of the life of another, original and new, human
being. And for parents each child is original, different, diverse” (Francis, General Audience, 11 February 2015). The beauty of this
mutual, gratuitous gift, the joy which comes from a life that is born and the
loving care of all family members — from toddlers to seniors — are just a few
of the fruits which make the response to the vocation of the family unique and
irreplaceable. Family relations contribute decisively to the sound building of
human society in fellowship, which cannot be reduced to simply the inhabitants
of a territory or citizens of a State who live together.
The Truth and Beauty of the Family
51. With heartfelt joy and profound consolation, the Church looks to families
who faithfully follow the teachings of the Gospel. The Church thanks them for
their witness and encourages them to continue. Because of these families, the
beauty of an indissoluble, ever-faithful marriage is made credible. The first
experience of ecclesial communion between persons grows and develops in the
family, in which, through grace, the mystery of Trinitarian love is reflected.
“Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous — even
repeated — forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering
of one's life.” (CCC, 1657). The Gospel of the Family nourishes those seeds still
awaiting maturity and must also treat those trees which have withered and
require attention (cf. Lk 13:6-9). The Church as a sure teacher
and
caring mother acknowledges that, for those who are baptized, a
sacramental
marriage is the only marriage bond which exists and any rupture of that
bond is
against the will of God. At the same time, she is also aware of the
fragility of
many of her children who struggle along the path of faith. “Without
detracting
from the evangelical ideal, they [the lay faithful] need to accompany
with mercy
and patience the eventual stages of personal growth as these
progressively occur [...] A small step, in the midst of great human
limitations, can be more
pleasing to God than a life which appears outwardly in order but moves
through
the day without confronting great difficulties. Everyone needs to be
touched by
the comfort and attraction of God’s saving love, which is mysteriously
at work
in each person, above and beyond their faults and failings” (EG, 44).
This truth and beauty is to be safeguarded. When faced with difficult situations
and wounded families, people need to recall this general principle: “Pastors
must know that, for the sake of truth, they are obliged to exercise careful
discernment of situations” (FC, 84). The degree of responsibility is not
equal in all cases and factors may exist which limit the ability to make a
decision. Therefore, while clearly expressing doctrine, pastors are to avoid
judgments which do not take into account the complexity of various situations
and they are to be attentive, by necessity, to how people live and endure
distress because of their condition.
Chapter IV
The Intimate Bond Between the Church and the Family
52. The blessing and responsibility of a new family, sealed in the Sacrament
of Matrimony, involve the couple’s willingness to be advocates and promoters,
within the Christian community, of the basic covenant between a man and a woman.
In society, the willingness to beget children, to protect the weak and to live a
life in common, involves a responsibility that should be supported, acknowledged
and appreciated. In virtue of the Sacrament of Matrimony, every family becomes,
in effect, a good for the Church. From this vantage point, considering the
interplay between the family and the Church will be a precious gift for the
Church at the present time: the Church is good for the family, the family is
good for the Church. The safeguarding of the Lord’s gift in the Sacrament of
Matrimony is a matter not only for the individual family but the Christian
community itself, in a manner for which it is responsible. To preserve the union
of marriage, when difficulties — even serious ones — arise, a discernment of
each’s obligations and failures should be thoroughly examined by the couple with
the assistance of the pastors and community.
The Grace of Conversion and Fulfilment
53.. The Church remains close to couples whose marital relationship has
degenerated to the point of separation. In cases where a relationship painfully
ends, the Church feels the duty to accompany the spouses in their period of
suffering so their relationship does not lead to a serious conflict. First of
all, particular attention needs to be given to the children, who are the first
affected by the separation, so that they suffer as little as possible, because
“when a dad and mom hurt one another, the souls of their children suffer
terribly” (Francis, General Audience, 24 June 2015). The light of Christ
enlightens every person (cf. Jn 1:9; GS, 22), seeing things as
Christ would see them inspires the Church's pastoral care for the faithful who
are living together or who are only married civilly or who are divorced and
remarried. From the vantage point of divine pedagogy, the Church turns with
love to those who participate in her life in an imperfect manner: she seeks the
grace of conversion for them, she encourages them to do good, to lovingly take
care of each other and to serve the community in which they live and work.
Hopefully, dioceses will promote various means of discernment for these people
and to involve them in the community to help and encourage them to grow and
eventually make a conscious, coherent choice. Couples need to be told about the
possibility of having recourse to a process of a declaration of nullity
regarding their marriage.
54. When a couple in an irregular union reaches a noteworthy stability through a
public bond — and is characterized by deep affection, responsibility towards the
children and the ability to overcome trials — this can be seen as an
opportunity, where possible, to lead the couple to celebrating the Sacrament of
Matrimony. A different case occurs, however, when persons live together without
a desire for a future marriage, but instead have the decided intention not to
establish any institutionally recognized relationship. Civil marriages between a
man and a woman, traditional marriage and, taking into account the difference
due, even cohabitation are emerging phenomena in many countries. The situation
of the faithful who have established a new union requires special pastoral
attention: “In these decades [...] the awareness has truly grown that it is
necessary to have a fraternal and attentive welcome, in love and in truth, of
the baptized who have established a new relationship of cohabitation after the
failure of the marital sacrament; in fact, these persons are by no means
excommunicated” (Francis, General Audience, 5 August 2015).
Mercy: The Core of Revelation
55. The Church starts from the real-life situations of today's families, all
in need of mercy, beginning with those who suffer most. With the Merciful Heart
of Jesus, the Church must draw near and guide the weakest of her members, who
are experiencing a wounded or lost love, by restoring confidence and hope, as
the beacon light of a port or a torch carried in the crowd, to illuminate those
who have lost their way or find themselves in the midst of a storm. Mercy is
“the core of the revelation of Jesus Christ” (MV, 25). God’s sovereignty
shines forth in his mercy; a mercy always faithful to his very being, which is
love (cf. 1 Jn 4:8), and to his covenant. “It is precisely in his mercy
that God manifests his omnipotence” (St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica,
II-II, q. 30, art. 4; cf. The Roman Missal, the Opening Prayer for the
Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time). Proclaiming the truth in love is itself
an act of mercy. In the Bull Misericordiae Vultus, Pope Francis said:
“Mercy is not contrary to justice but is the behaviour of God toward the
sinner.” He continues: “God does not deny justice. He rather envelops it and
surpasses it with an even greater event in which we experience love as the
foundation of true justice” (MV, 21). Jesus is the face of the mercy of God the Father: “God so loved
the world [...] [that] the world might be saved through him [the Son]” (Jn
3:16, 17).
PART III
56. From the beginning of history, God has been generous with his love
towards his children (cf. LG, 2), so that they could attain fullness of
life in Jesus Christ (cf. Jn 10:10). Through the Sacraments of Christian
Initiation, God invites families to enter into this life, to proclaim it and to
communicate it to others (cf. LG, 41). As Pope Francis forcefully reminds
us, the mission of the family always extends outside itself in service to our
brothers and sisters. Each family is asked to participate in the Church’s
mission in a unique and privileged manner. “In virtue of their Baptism, all
members of the People of God have become missionary disciples” (EG, 120).
All over the world, in the real-life situation of families, we can see much
happiness and joy, but also much suffering and anguish. We want to look at this
reality with the same eyes with which Christ looked at it, as he walked among
the people of his time. We want our attitude to be one of humility and
understanding. Our desire is to accompany each and every family so that each
family might discover the best way to overcome the obstacles it encounters. The
Gospel is always a sign of contradiction. The Church never forgets that the
Paschal Mystery is central to the Good News that we announce. She wants to help
families recognize and welcome the cross, when it is placed before them, so that
they can carry it, along with Christ, on the path which leads to the joy of the
resurrection. This task requires “a pastoral and missionary conversion which
cannot leave things as they presently are” (EG, 25). Conversion, then,
profoundly affects a style of communication and language. The language to be
adopted must be meaningful. Proclamation has to make people experience the
Gospel of the Family as a response to the deepest longings of the human person,
a response to his/her dignity and a response to complete personal fulfilment in
reciprocity, communion and fruitfulness. It is not only a question of norms, but
announcing the grace which provides the ability to live the goods of the family.
Today more than ever, transmitting the faith requires a language which is able
to reach everyone, especially young people, so as to communicate the beauty of
love in the family and make people understand the meaning of terms such as
self-giving, conjugal love, fidelity, fruitfulness and procreation. This need
for a new and more appropriate language initially enters in introducing children
and adolescents to the topic of sexuality. Many parents and people who are
involved in pastoral work have difficulty finding an appropriate yet respectful
language to bring together the biological and complementary natures of sexuality
which enrich each other through friendship, love and the self-giving of a man
and a woman.
Chapter I
Marriage Preparation
57. Christian marriage cannot be reduced to a cultural tradition or to a simple
legal agreement. Christian marriage is a genuine call from God which demands
careful discernment, constant prayer and adequate growth and development. In
this regard, a programme of formation is needed which might accompany persons
and couples so that communicating the faith might be united with an actual
living experience provided by the entire ecclesial community. The effectiveness
of this assistance also requires improved premarital catechesis — sometimes poor
in content, today — which is an integral part of routine pastoral care. The
ministry on behalf of engaged couples also ought to be included in the general
commitment of the Christian community to present, in a proper and convincing
fashion, the Gospel message about the dignity of the person, his/her freedom and
respect for his/her rights. In this regard, the three stages indicated in
Familiaris Consortio (cf. 66) need to be borne in mind: remote preparation,
which treats the transmission of the faith and Christian values within the
family; proximate preparation, which coincides with the various programmes of
catechesis and the formative experiences lived within the ecclesial community;
and immediate preparation for marriage, which is part of a broader programme,
characterized by the vocation to marriage itself.
58. In the cultural change taking place in the present-day, models are often
presented which conflict with the Christian vision of the family. Sexuality is
often separated from a plan of authentic love. In some countries, formation
programmes are even imposed by civil authorities whose content is in conflict
with the human and Christian vision of man. As to these programmes, the Church
strongly affirms her freedom to set forth her teaching and the right of
conscientious objection on the part of educators. Moreover, the family, while
remaining the primary place for formation (cf. Gravissimum Educationis,
3), cannot be the only place for formation in matters of sexuality. In this
regard, true and proper pastoral programmes of support need to be devised,
targeting both individuals and couples, with particular attention given to young
people at the age of puberty and adolescence, so as to help them discover the
beauty of sexuality in love. Christianity proclaims that God created humanity as
male and female, and blessed them to form one flesh and transmit life (cf.
Gen 1: 27-28; 2, 24). Their difference, in equal personal dignity, is God’s
seal of goodness on creation. According to the Christian principle, soul and
body, as well as biological sex (sex) and socio-cultural role of sex (gender),
can be distinguished but not separated.
Pre-matrimonial programmes seem to require additional topics to better
form people in faith and love in the general process of Christian initiation. In
this regard, the importance of the virtues needs to be recalled, especially
chastity, which is invaluable in the genuine growth of love between persons. The
formation programme should assume the structure of a journey towards vocational
discernment for both the individual person and the couple, ensuring a better
synergy between the various pastoral areas. The pre-marital programme might also
be given by married couples who are capable of accompanying engaged couples
before their marriage and in the initial years of marriage, thereby showing the
value of the ministry of married couples. Giving value to interpersonal
relationships in the Church’s pastoral activity will encourage the gradual
opening of minds and hearts to the fullness of God's plan.
The Celebration of Marriage
59. The marriage liturgy is a unique event, which is a familial and social
celebration. The first signs of Jesus were done at the wedding feast of Cana.
The good wine, resulting from the Lord’s miracle which brought joy at the
formation of a new family, is the new wine of Christ’s covenant with the men and
women of every age. An engaged couple devotes a great deal of time preparing for
the wedding ceremony. These cherished moments ought to be for them, their
families and friends a truly spiritual and ecclesial celebration. The wedding
celebration is an auspicious opportunity to invite many people to the
celebration of the Sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist. The Christian
community, through its heartfelt and joyous participation, is to welcome the new
family in its midst so that the new family as a domestic Church might feel a
part of the larger ecclesial family. The wedding liturgy ought to be prepared
through a mystagogical catechesis which may make a couple understand that the
celebration of their covenant takes place “in the Lord.” Frequently, the
celebrant has the opportunity to address an assembly made up of people who
seldom participate in the life of the Church or belong to other Christian
denominations or religious communities. The occasion provides a valuable
opportunity to proclaim the Gospel of Christ, which can lead the families who
attend to a rediscovery of faith and love which come from God.
The Initial Years of Family Life
60. The initial years of marriage are a vital yet delicate period, during
which couples grow in an awareness of their vocation and mission. Consequently,
this period calls for pastoral guidance which continues after the celebration of
the Sacrament. The parish is the place where experienced couples may be made
available to the younger ones, possibly in conjunction with associations,
ecclesial movements and new communities. In this way, newly married couples
ought to be encouraged to remain open to a basic attitude of welcoming the great
gift of children. At the same time, the importance of a family spirituality,
prayer and participation in Sunday Mass can also be stressed and couples can be
encouraged to meet regularly to promote growth in their spiritual life and
solidarity in the practical needs of life. A personal encounter with Christ
through the reading of the Word of God, in the community and in homes,
especially in the form of lectio divina, is a source of inspiration in
the family’s daily activities. Liturgies, devotional practices and Eucharistic
celebrations for families, especially on the anniversary of marriage, sustain
the family’s spiritual life and its missionary witness. Not infrequently, in the
initial years of married life, couples have a tendency to isolate themselves
and, consequently, from the community. Strengthening the network of
relationships between couples and creating meaningful connections among people
are necessary for the maturation of the family’s Christian life. Movements and
Church groups often provide these moments of growth and formation. The local
Church, by integrating the contributions of various persons and groups, assumes
the work of coordinating the pastoral care of young families. In the initial
phase of married life, some experience a particular discouragement which comes
from the frustration of the desire to have children. Not infrequently, this
situation gives rise to a crisis which can quickly lead to separation. For
reasons like these, the nearness of the community through the love and care of
responsible families is particularly important for young married couples.
The Formation of Priests and Other Pastoral Workers
61. Pastoral care needs to be renewed by taking into consideration the Gospel
of the Family and the Church’s Magisterium. Consequently, a more adequate
formation is required of priests, deacons, men and women religious, catechists
and other pastoral workers, who ought to promote the integration of families
into the parish community, especially in Christian formation programmes for the
sacraments. In particular, seminars and programmes of human, spiritual,
intellectual and pastoral formation ought to prepare future priests to become
apostles of the family. Formation for the ordained ministry cannot overlook
affective and psychological development, with direct involvement in appropriate
programmes. Courses and programmes, planned specifically for pastoral workers,
can be of assistance in their integrating the pre-marital preparation programme
in the broader dynamic of ecclesial life. During the formation period,
candidates for the priesthood appropriately live for periods of time with their
families and may be guided in acquiring experiences in family ministry so as to
develop an adequate knowledge of the current situation of families. The presence
of lay people, families and especially the presence of women in priestly
formation, promotes the appreciation of the diversity and complementarity of the
different vocations in the Church. Dedication to this invaluable ministry can
receive vitality and practicality from a renewed alignment between the two main
forms of the vocation to love, namely, marriage, which flourishes in the
Christian family, based on a love of choice, and the consecrated life, the image
of the communion of the Kingdom, which starts from the unconditional acceptance
of another as a a gift of God. In the communion of vocations, a fruitful
exchange of gifts is accomplished, one which enlivens and enriches the Church
community (Acts 18:2). Family spiritual direction can be considered one
of the parish ministries. We suggest that the diocesan office for family and
other pastoral offices intensify their cooperation in this field. In the ongoing
formation of priests and pastoral workers, we hope that programmes will continue
to treat with appropriate tools the growth and development of the psychological
and affective aspects which are needed in the pastoral care of families,
especially in light of particular emergency situations arising from cases of
domestic violence and sexual abuse.
Chapter II
The Transmission of Life
62. The presence of large families in the Church is a blessing for the
Christian community and society, because openness to life is an intrinsic
requirement of conjugal love. In this regard, the Church expresses her deep
gratitude to families who welcome children — especially those who are most weak
and vulnerable — raise them, surround them with affection and transmit the faith
to them. These children, born with special needs, draw the love of Christ; they
ask the Church to safeguard them as a blessing. Unfortunately, a widespread
mentality exists which reduces the generation of life to individual
gratification only or that of the couple. Economic, cultural and educational
factors are sometimes determinant, contributing to a sharp decline in the
birth-rate which weakens the social fabric, compromises the relationship between
generations and renders more uncertain an outlook towards the future. Even in
this area, we must begin by listening to persons and verify the beauty and truth
of an unconditional openness to life which human love needs to be lived to the
full. This situation calls for an ever-increasing diffusion of the documents of
the Church’s Magisterium which promote the culture of life. Family ministry
should involve more Catholic specialists from the biomedical field in marriage
preparation programmes and guidance of married couples.
Generative Responsibility
63. According to the order of creation, conjugal love between a man and a
woman and the transmission of life are ordered to each other (cf. Gen
1:27-28). In this way, the Creator made man and woman share in the work of his
creation and, at the same time, made them instruments of his love, entrusting to
them the responsibility for the future of humankind, through the transmission of
human life. Spouses are to be open to life and formed in “a right judgment: let
them thoughtfully take into account both their own welfare and that of their
children, those already born and those which the future may bring. For this
accounting, they need to reckon with both the material and the spiritual
conditions of the times as well as of their state in life. Finally, they should
consult the interests of the family group, of temporal society, and of the
Church herself” (GS, 50; cf. VS, 54-66). In conformity with a
conjugal love based on the nature of the person and a humanly completed act, the
just way for family planning is that of a consensual dialogue between the
spouses, respect for the times of fertility and consideration of the dignity of
the partner. In this sense, the Encyclical Humanae Vitae (cf. 10-14) and
the Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (cf. 14; 28-35) ought to
be taken up anew so as to awaken in people an openness to life in contrast to a
mentality which is often hostile to life. We repeatedly urge young couples to be
open to life. Doing so, can increase the openness to life in the family, the
Church and society. Through its many institutions for children, the Church can
help create not only society but also the community of faith, which might be
more childlike. The courage to transmit life is notably strengthened when a
suitable atmosphere is created for the little ones, an atmosphere which offers
help and guidance in bringing up one’s children (cooperation among parishes,
parents and families).
The choice of responsible parenthood presupposes the formation of
conscience, which is “the most secret core and sanctuary of a person. There each
one is alone with God, whose voice echoes in the depths of the heart” (GS,
16). The more the couple tries to listen in their conscience to God and his
commandments (cf. Rom 2:15), and are accompanied spiritually, the more
their decision will be intimately free from a subjective arbitrariness and the
adaptation to people’s conduct where they live. For the sake of this dignity of
conscience, the Church strongly rejects the forced State intervention in favour
of contraception, sterilization and even abortion. The use of methods based on
the “laws of nature and the incidence of fertility” (HV, 11) are to be
encouraged, because “these methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage
tenderness between them and favour the education of an authentic freedom” (CCC,
2370). Emphasis needs to be placed more and more on the fact that children are a
wonderful gift from God and a joy for parents and the Church. Through them, the
Lord renews the world.
The Value of Life in All Its Stages
64. Life is a gift from God and a mystery that transcends us. For this
reason, life should in no way be discarded, either in its beginning or at its
end. On the contrary, special attention to all phases of life needs to be
guaranteed. People today, too easily “consider the human being in himself as a
commodity, which you can use and then throw away. We have given rise to a ‘throw
away’ culture which is now spreading” (EG, 53). In this regard, the
family, supported by every level of society, needs to accept unborn life and to
care for life in its final stages. With regard to the tragedy of abortion, the
Church, above all, affirms the sacred and inviolable character of human life and
is committed in a practical way in favour of it (cf. EV, 58). Through her
institutions, she counsels pregnant women, supports single mothers, assists
abandoned children and is near to those who endured an abortion. Those who work
in healthcare facilities are reminded of the moral obligation of conscientious
objection. Similarly, the Church not only feels the urgency to assert the right
to a natural death, without aggressive treatment and euthanasia, but also takes
care of the elderly, protects people with special needs, assists the terminally
ill, comforts the dying and firmly rejects the death penalty (cf. CCC,
2258).
Adoption and Foster Parenting
65. The adoption of orphaned and abandoned children, accepting them as one’s
own, in the spirit of faith, becomes a form of an authentic family apostolate
(cf. AA, 11), which is repeatedly mentioned and encouraged by the
Magisterium (cf. FC, 41; EV, 93). The choice of adoption and
foster care expresses a particular kind of fruitfulness in the marriage
experience, beyond cases where infertility is painfully present. This decision
is an eloquent sign of welcoming life, a witness of faith and fulfilment of
love, and restores a mutual dignity to a bond which has been interrupted:
spouses without children and children without parents. Consequently, all
initiatives aimed at facilitating adoption services need to be supported. The
trafficking of children between countries and continents is to be prevented by
appropriate legislative action and State control. Continuity in the
relationships of parenting and upbringing, by necessity, is based, as in
procreation, on the sexual difference of a man and a woman. In light of
situations where parents want a child at any cost or as a right to
self-fulfilment, adoption and foster care, rightly understood, manifest an
important aspect of parenting and the raising of children, since they make
people aware that children, whether natural, adoptive or taken in foster care,
are persons in their own right who need to be accepted, loved and care for and
not just brought into this world. The best interests of the child should always
underlie any decision in adoption and foster care. As noted by Pope Francis,
“children have the right to grow up in a family with a father and a mother” (Address
to Participants in the International Colloquium on the Complementarity Between
Man and Woman, organized by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith,
17 November 2014). The Church, however, must state that, where possible,
children are entitled to grow up in their birth family, with as much support as
possible.
The Upbringing of Children
66. Undoubtedly, one of the key challenges posed in families today is that of
the upbringing of children, made all-the-more challenging and complex by the
today’s culture and the great influence of the media. Due account needs to be
given to the needs and expectations of families who in everyday life are places
of growth and places for the practical and essential transmission of faith,
spirituality and virtues which shape human existence. One’s own family is often
the place where a vocation to the priesthood or the consecrated life is born.
Therefore, parents are urged to ask the Lord for the priceless gift of a
vocation for one of their children. In bringing up children, protection needs to
be afforded to the right of parents to freely choose the type of education to be
given to their children, according to their convictions, its accessibility and
the calibre of education. People need assistance in living affectivity as a
process of maturation — even in the marital relationship — in an ever-deepening
acceptance of the other and an ever-fuller giving of self. This requires
offering formation programmes that nourish conjugal life and the importance of
the laity who provide guidance through a life of witness. In this regard, great
assistance comes from the example of a couple’s profound and faithful love which
is based on tenderness, respect and the ability to grow over time. In a
practical way, opening oneself to the the generation of life makes a person
experience a mystery which transcends us.
67. In different cultures, the adults of the family retain an irreplaceable
role in the upbringing of children. However, in many areas, we are witnessing a
progressive weakening of the role of parents in raising their children, because
of an invasive presence of the media within the family, as well as a tendency to
delegate or outright relinquish their role to third parties. On the other hand,
the media (especially the social media) unite members of a family, even at a
distance. The use of e-mail and other social media can keep family members
together over time. Furthermore, the media can provide an opportunity to
evangelize young people. This requires the Church to encourage and support
families in their efforts vigilantly and responsibly to participate in the
educational programmes affecting their children and in their formation. The
Synod unanimously restated that the primary school of formation is the family
and that the Christian community is engaged in the support and integration of
this irreplaceable formative role. Places and times for families to meet need to
be determined to encourage the training of parents and the sharing of
experiences among families. Parents, as the first teachers and witnesses of
faith for their children, need to be actively involved in their preparation for
the Sacraments of Christian Initiation.
68. Catholic schools play a vital role in assisting parents in their duty to
raise their children. Catholic education promotes the role of the family,
ensures good preparation and provides education in the virtues and values as
well as instruction in Church teaching. Catholic schools should be encouraged in
their mission to help pupils grow into mature adults, who can view the world
with the love of Jesus and who can understand life as a call to serve God. In
this way, Catholic schools are important in the Church's evangelizing mission.
In many parts of the world, Catholic schools are the only schools to provide
genuine opportunities for the children of poor families, especially for young
people, offering them an alternative to poverty and a way to make a real
contribution to society. Catholic schools should be encouraged to pursue their
activity in the poorest communities by serving the less fortunate and most
vulnerable members of our society.
Chapter III
Complex Situations
69. The Sacrament of Matrimony as a faithful and indissoluble union between a
man and a woman, called to accept one another and to welcome life, is a great
grace for the human family. The Church has the duty and joy to announce this
grace to every person and in every situation. Today, the Church more urgently
senses the responsibility of making the baptized rediscover how the grace of God
at work in their lives — even in the most difficult of situations — can lead
them to the fullness of the Sacrament. While the synod acknowledges and
encourages families who honour the beauty of Christian marriage, it wishes, at
the same time, to promote a pastoral discernment of situations where people
have a difficulty appreciating and receiving the Sacrament as a gift, or in
various ways, compromise this gift. To maintain a pastoral dialogue with these
Church members to enable them to achieve a consistent openness to the fullness
of the Gospel of Marriage and the Family, is a serious responsibility. Pastors
should identify elements which can promote evangelization and the human and
spiritual growth of those who are entrusted by the Lord to their care.
70. Pastoral ministry on behalf of the family clearly proposes the Gospel
message and gathers the positive elements present in those situations, which do
not yet or no longer correspond to this message. In many countries, a growing
number of couples live together without benefit of either a canonical or civil
marriage. In some countries, a traditional wedding is arranged between families
and is often celebrated in different stages. In still others, an increasing
number of those who have lived together for a long period of time ask for the
celebration of marriage in Church. Oftentimes, the choice of simply living
together results from not only a general aversion towards institutions and
making firm commitments but also an expectation of a sense of security in life
(awaiting a job and a steady salary). And finally, in other countries, de
facto unions are becoming more numerous, because of not only the rejection
of the values of family and marriage but also, for some, marriage is seen as a
luxury due to their state in society. Consequently, in the latter case, the lack
of material resources forces couples to live in de facto unions. All
these situations must be addressed in a constructive manner, attempting to turn
them into opportunities leading to conversion and the fullness of marriage and
the family in the light of the Gospel.
71. The choice of a civil marriage or, in many cases, simply living together,
is often not motivated by prejudice or resistance against a sacramental union,
but from situations or cultural contingencies. In many circumstances, the
decision to live together is a sign of a relationship which wants, in reality,
to lead to a stable union in the future. This intention, which translates into a
lasting, reliable bond, open to life, can be considered a commitment on which to
base a path to the Sacrament of Marriage, discovered as God's plan in one’s
life. The path of growth, which can lead to a sacramental marriage, is to be
encouraged by recognizing the traces of a generous and enduring love, namely,
the desire of a couple to seek the good of others before their own; the
experience of forgiveness requested and given; and the aspiration to form a
family not for itself but open to the good of the ecclesial community and all of
society. While pursuing these goals, value can also be given to those signs of
love which properly correspond to the reflection of God’s love in an authentic
conjugal plan.
72. Issues related to mixed marriages require specific attention. Marriages
between Catholics and other baptized persons “have their own particular nature,
but they contain numerous elements that could well be made good use of and
developed, both for their intrinsic value and for the contribution that they can
make to the ecumenical movement.” For this purpose, “an effort should be made to establish cordial cooperation
between the Catholic and the non-Catholic ministers from the time that
preparations begin for the marriage and the wedding ceremony” (FC, 78).
Concerning sharing the Eucharist, one needs to remember that “the decision as to
whether the non-Catholic party of the marriage may be admitted to Eucharistic
communion is to be made in keeping with the general norms existing in the
matter, both for Eastern Christians and for other Christians, taking into
account the particular situation of the reception of the Sacrament of Matrimony
by two baptized Christians. Although the spouses in a mixed marriage share the
Sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony, Eucharistic sharing can only be exceptional
and in each case according to the stated norms [...]” (Pontifical Council for
Promoting Christian Unity, Directory for the Application of Principles and
Norms on Ecumenism, 25 March 1993, 159-160).
73. Marriages of disparity of cult represent a privileged place for
inter-religious dialogue in everyday life, and can be a sign of hope for
religious communities, especially where there are situations of tension. Each
one shares his/her spiritual experiences or the journey of seeking a religion,
if one is not a believer (1 Cor 7:14). At the same time, marriages of
disparity of cult involve special difficulties regarding both the Christian
identity of the family and the religious upbringing of the children. The spouses
are called to transform more and more their initial feeling of attraction in a
sincere desire for the good of the other. This opening also transforms belonging
to various religious persuasions into an opportunity to enrich the quality of
the relationship. The number of households with married couples of disparity of
cult, on the rise in mission territories and even in countries of long Christian
tradition, urgently requires providing a differentiated pastoral care according
to various social and cultural contexts. In some countries where freedom of
religion does not exist, the Christian spouses are obliged to convert to another
religion in order to marry, and, therefore, cannot celebrate a canonical
marriage of disparity of cult or baptize their children. We must therefore
reiterate the necessity to respect the religious freedom of everyone.
74. While mixed marriages and marriages of disparity of cult can be
potentially fruitful, they can also lead to critical situations which are not
easily resolved, more on the pastoral rather than the normative level, namely,
the religious upbringing of the children, participation in the liturgical life
of the spouse and the sharing of a spiritual experience. To deal constructively
with differences in the order of faith, attention needs to be given to the
persons who make up the marriage, not only in the period before the wedding.
Unique challenges face couples and families in which one partner is Catholic and
the other is a non-believer. In such cases, witnessing the ability of the Gospel
to immerse itself in these situations will make possible the upbringing of their
children in the Christian faith.
75. Particular problems arise when persons in a complex marital situation wish
to be baptized. These people contracted a stable marriage in a time when at
least one of them did not know the Christian faith. In such cases, bishops are
called to exercise a pastoral discernment which is commensurate with their
spiritual good.
76. The Church’s attitude is like that of her Master, who offers his
boundless love to every person without exception (cf. MV, 12). To
families with homosexual members, the Church reiterates that every person,
regardless of sexual orientation, ought to be respected in his/her dignity and
received with respect, while carefully avoiding “every sign of unjust
discrimination” (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Considerations
Regarding Proposals To Give Legal Recognition To Unions Between Homosexual
Persons, 4). Specific attention is given to guiding families with
homosexual members. Regarding proposals to place unions of homosexual persons on
the same level as marriage, “there are absolutely no grounds for considering
homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God's
plan for marriage and family” (ibid). In every way, the Synod maintains
as completely unacceptable that local Churches be subjected to pressure in this
matter and that international bodies link financial aid to poor countries to the
introduction of laws to establish “marriage” between people of the same sex.
Accompaniment in Different Situations
77. The Church lovingly shares the joys and hopes and the sorrows and anxieties
of every family. For the Church, staying close to the family as a companion on
the journey means to assume an attitude which is wisely nuanced. Sometimes,
staying close and listening in silence is needed; at other times, moving ahead
and pointing the way; and at still other times, the appropriate action is to
follow, support and encourage. “The Church will have to initiate everyone —
priests, religious and laity — into this ‘art of accompaniment’ which teaches us
to remove our sandals before the sacred ground of the other (cf. Ex 3:5).
The pace of this accompaniment must be steady and reassuring, reflecting our
closeness and our compassionate gaze which also heals, liberates and encourages
growth in the Christian life” (EG, 169). The main contribution to the pastoral care of families
is offered by the parish, which is the family of families, where small
communities, ecclesial movements and associations live in harmony. Accompaniment
requires specifically trained priests and the establishment of specialized
centres where priests, religious and lay people might learn how to take care of
each family, with particular attention to those in difficulty.
78. What is urgently needed today is a ministry to care for those whose
marital relationship has broken down. Though separation often leads to the end
of many, long years of conflict between the spouses, it causes still greater
suffering in the children of the marriage. The loneliness of the spouse who is
abandoned or who has been forced to cease living in a situation characterized by
continuous, severe ill-treatment, calls for particular care on the part of the
Christian community. Prevention and treatment in cases of domestic violence
require close cooperation with law enforcement to move against the perpetrators
and adequately protect the victims. Promoting the protection of children from
sexual abuse is also important. In addition to accompanying these families, the
Church exercises “zero tolerance” in these cases. Consideration seems
appropriate for families in which some members carry out activities which
require the Church’s special attention, like soldiers, who are physically
separated from their families for long periods of time, with all the
consequences that this entails. When returning from war, these men and women are
often suffering from post-traumatic syndrome and are troubled in conscience,
which poses serious moral questions for them, all of which requires special
pastoral attention.
79. Failure in a marriage is a painful experience for everyone. On the other
hand, this marriage failure can become an opportunity for reflection, conversion
and trust in God. In each’s becoming aware of his/her responsibility, everyone
can find confidence and hope in him. “From the heart of the Trinity, from the
depths of the mystery of God, the great river of mercy wells up and overflows
unceasingly. It is a spring that will never run dry, no matter how many people
draw from it. Every time someone is in need, he or she can approach it, because
the mercy of God never ends” (MV, 25). To pardon an injustice is not
easy, but it is a journey that grace makes possible, thus, the need for pastoral
conversion and reconciliation also through specialized counselling and mediation
centres which are to be establish in dioceses. Justice, however, is to be
promoted for everyone involved in a failed marriage (spouses and children). The
Christian community and its Pastors have the duty to ask the spouses, who are
separated and divorced, to treat each other with respect and mercy, especially
for the good of the children, who ought not endure further suffering. Children
cannot be an object of contention between the parents; instead, ways must be
sought so that the children might overcome the trauma of a broken home and grow
in as serene an atmosphere as possible. In every case, the Church is always to
highlight the injustice which often comes from a situation of divorce.
80. Single parenthood results from a variety of situations: biological
mothers or fathers who have never wanted to form a family; situations of
violence, where a parent is forced to flee with the children; the death of one
parent; one parent’s abandonment of the family; and other situations. Whatever
the cause, the parent who lives with the child(ren) must find support and
comfort from the other families that form the Christian community and, thus,
from the pastoral programmes provided by the parish. Oftentimes, these families
suffer further from severe economic problems, uncertainty in employment,
difficulties in child support and the lack of a stable residence. The same
pastoral concern ought to be manifested with regards to widowed persons and
single mothers and their children.
81. When a husband and wife are having trouble in their relationship, they
must be able to count on the help and guidance of the Church. Experience shows
that with proper help and reconciliation through the grace of the Holy Spirit, a
large percentage of marriage crises are satisfactorily overcome. Knowing how to
forgive and to feel forgiven is a fundamental experience in family life.
Forgiveness between spouses allows them to rediscover the truth of a love that
lasts forever and never passes away (1 Cor 13:8). Reconciliation is
needed almost everyday in family relations. Misunderstandings due to relations
with the families of origin, conflicts because of different religious and
cultural customs, various opinions on the upbringing of children, anxiety over
economic difficulties and tensions that arise as a result of addictions and job
loss are just a few of the widely-held reasons for tension and conflict. The
arduous art of reconciliation, which requires the support of grace, needs the
generous cooperation of relatives and friends, and sometimes even outside help
and professional assistance. In the most painful situation, like marital
infidelity, a true and proper work of repair is necessary on each’s part. A
broken promise can be made whole; the spouses must learn hope in this regard,
even from the time of marriage preparation. The action of the Holy Spirit is
crucial in the care of persons and broken families, in the reception of the
Sacrament of Reconciliation and in the necessity of spiritual guidance by
specialized pastoral workers.
82. For many of the faithful who have had an unhappy marital experience,
investigating and verifying the invalidity of the marriage represents a possible
course of action. The recent motu proprio Mitis Iudex Dominus Iesus and
Mitis et Misericors Iesus led to a simplification of the procedures in the
declaration of nullity of a marriage. With these documents, the Holy Father also
wanted to “make clear that the bishop himself in his particular Church, of which
he is pastor and head, is the one who renders judgment for the faithful
entrusted to him” (MI, preamble, III). The implementation of these
documents is therefore a great responsibility for Ordinaries in dioceses, who
are called upon to judge some cases themselves and, in every case, to ensure the
faithful an easier access to justice. This involves preparing a sufficient
staff, composed of clerical and lay persons, who dedicate themselves a priore
to this ecclesial service. Consequently, information, counselling and
mediation services, associated with the family apostolate, need to be provided
to persons who are separated or couples in crisis. These persons from the family
apostolate are also able to receive persons in the preliminary inquiry of the
marriage process (cf. MI, Art. 2-3).
83. The witness of those who, despite difficult conditions, have not embarked
on forming another union and remain faithful to the sacramental bond, deserves
the acknowledgment and support of the Church. She wants to show them the face of
a God who is faithful to his love and always able to restore strength and hope.
Persons who are separated or divorced but not remarried and who are often
witnesses of marital fidelity, are encouraged to find in the Eucharist the food
that sustains them in their present state.
Discernment and Integration
84. The baptized who are divorced and civilly remarried need to be more
integrated into Christian communities in a variety of possible ways, while
avoiding any chance of scandal. The logic of integration is the key to their
pastoral care, a care which might allow them not only to realize that they
belong to the Church as the Body of Christ, but also to know that they can have
a joyful and fruitful experience in it. They are baptized; they are brothers and
sisters; the Holy Spirit pours into their hearts gifts and talents for the good
of all. Their participation can be expressed in different ecclesial services
which necessarily requires discerning which of the various forms of exclusion,
currently practiced in the liturgical, pastoral, educational and institutional
framework, can be surpassed. Such persons need to feel not as excommunicated
members of the Church, but instead as living members, able to live and grow in
the Church and experience her as a mother, who welcomes them always, who takes
care of them with affection and encourages them along the path of life and the
Gospel. This integration is also needed in the care and Christian upbringing of
their children, who ought to be considered most important. That the Christian
community cares for these people is not a weakening of her faith and witness in
the indissolubility of marriage: to the contrary, in this very way, the Church
expresses her charity.
85. Pope Saint John Paul II offered a comprehensive policy, which remains the
basis for the evaluation of these situations: “Pastors must know that, for the
sake of truth, they are obliged to exercise careful discernment of situations.
There is in fact a difference between those who have sincerely tried to save
their first marriage and have been unjustly abandoned, and those who through
their own grave fault have destroyed a canonically valid marriage” (FC,
84). It is therefore the duty of priests to accompany such people in helping
them understand their situation according to the teaching of the Church and the
guidelines of the Bishop. Useful in the process is an examination of conscience
through moments of reflection and penance. The divorced and remarried should ask
themselves: how they have acted towards their children, when the conjugal union
entered into crisis; if they made attempts at reconciliation; what is the
situation of the abandoned party; what effect does the new relationship have on
the rest of the family and the community of the faithful; and what example is
being set for young people, who are preparing for marriage. A sincere reflection
can strengthen trust in the mercy of God which is not denied anyone.
Moreover, one cannot deny that in some circumstances “imputability and
responsibility for an action can be diminished or even nullified” (CCC,
1735) due to several constraints. Accordingly, the judgment of an objective
situation should not lead to a judgment on “subjective imputability”
(Pontifical Council for Legislative Texts, Declaration of 24 June 2000,
2a). Under certain circumstances people find it very difficult to act
differently. Therefore, while supporting a general rule, it is necessary to
recognize that responsibility with respect to certain actions or decisions is
not the same in all cases. Pastoral discernment, while taking into account a
person’s properly formed conscience, must take responsibility for these
situations. Even the consequences of actions taken are not necessarily the same
in all cases.
86. The path of accompaniment and discernment guides the faithful to an
awareness of their situation before God. Conversation with the priest, in the
internal forum, contributes to the formation of a correct judgment on what
hinders the possibility of a fuller participation in the life of Church and
Church practice which can foster it and make it grow. Given that gradualness is
not in the law itself (cf. FC 34), this discernment can never prescind
from the Gospel demands of truth and charity as proposed by the Church. This
occurs when the following conditions are present: humility, discretion and love
for the Church and her teaching, in a sincere search for God's will and a desire
to make a more perfect response to it.
Chapter IV
A Family Spirituality
87. The family, in its vocation and mission, is truly a treasure of the
Church. However, as St Paul says in relation to the Gospel, “we have this
treasure in earthen vessels” (2 Cor 4:7). Above the doorway of family
life, says Pope Francis, are “three expressions I’ve already mentioned here in
St Peter’s Square several times before. The expressions are: ‘may I?’, ‘thank
you’, and ‘pardon me’. Indeed, these expressions open up the way to living well
in your family, to living in peace. They are simple expressions, but not so
simple to put into practice! They hold much power: the power to keep home life
intact even when tested with a thousand problems. But if they are absent, little
holes can start to crack open and the whole thing may even collapse” (Francis,
General Audience, 13 May 2015). Papal teaching is an invitation to deepen
the spiritual dimension of family life, beginning from the rediscovery of family
prayer and listening to the Word of God in common, which leads to a commitment
to charity. The staple food of the spiritual life of the family is the
Eucharist, especially on the Day of the Lord, as a sign of his deep grounding in
the ecclesial community (cf. John Paul II, Dies Domini, 52; 66). Domestic
prayer, participation in the liturgy and the practice of Marian and popular
devotions are an effective means of encountering Jesus Christ and the
evangelization of the family. This highlights the special vocation of the
spouses to realize, with the grace of the Holy Spirit, holiness in their married
life, even in participating in the mystery of the cross of Christ, which
transforms difficulties and sufferings into an offering of love.
88. Family tenderness is the bond uniting parents to each other and they with
their children. Tenderness means to give with joy and stir in the other the joy
of feeling loved. Tenderness is expressed in a particular way by exercising
loving care in treating the limitations of the other, especially when they are
evident. Dealing with delicacy and respect means attending to wounds and
restoring hope and to rekindle trust in the other. Tenderness in family
relationships is the daily virtue that serves to overcome inner conflicts and
disagreements in relations with others. In this regard, Pope Francis invites us
to reflect: “Do we have the courage to welcome with tenderness the difficulties
and problems of those who are near to us, or do we prefer impersonal solutions,
perhaps effective but devoid of the warmth of the Gospel? How much the world
needs tenderness today! The patience of God, the closeness of God, the
tenderness of God” (Homily at Midnight Mass on the Solemnity of Christmas,
24 December 2014).
The Family: Object of Pastoral Care
89. To be faithful to its mission, the Christian family will have to well
understand where it originates: the family cannot evangelize without being
evangelized. The mission of the family includes the fruitful union of the
spouses, the upbringing of their children, the witness of the Sacrament of
Matrimony, preparing other couples for marriage and friendly guidance of couples
or families facing difficulties. Consequently, an effort at evangelization and
catechesis inside the family is important. In this regard, care should be taken
in giving proper value to couples and parents as active agents in catechesis,
especially in their children lives, in collaboration with priests, deacons,
consecrated persons and catechists. This effort starts from the time a couple
starts dating. Family catechesis is of great assistance as an effective method
in training young people and parents to be aware of their mission as
evangelizers of their own family. Furthermore, the connection between family
experience and Christian Initiation needs to be stressed. The whole Christian
community must become a place where families come, meet and seek advice as they
walk in faith and share ways leading to growth and mutual exchange.
90. The Church must instill in families a sense of belonging to the Church, a
sense of “we” in which no member is forgotten. All are encouraged to develop
their skills and realize their plan of life in serving the Kingdom of God. May
every family, incorporated in the Church, rediscover the joy of communion with
other families so as to serve the common good of society by promoting
policy-making, an economy and a culture in the service of the family, through
the use of social networks and the media, which calls for the
ability to create small communities of families as living witnesses of Gospel
values. Families need to be prepared, trained and empowered to guide others in
living in a Christian manner. Families who are willing to live the mission ad
gentes are to be acknowledged and encouraged Finally, we note the
importance of connecting youth ministry with family ministry.
The Relationship with Cultures and Institutions
91. “The Church, living in various circumstances in the course of time, has
used the discoveries of different cultures so that in her preaching she might
spread and explain the message of Christ to all nations, that she might examine
it and more deeply understand it, that she might give it better expression in
liturgical celebration and in the varied life of the community of the faithful”
(GS, 58). These cultures and respect for each’s unique characteristics is
important to bear in mind. The words of Blessed Pope Paul VI deserve
consideration: “The split between the Gospel and culture is without a doubt the
drama of our time, just as it was of other times. Therefore every effort must be
made to ensure a full evangelization of culture, or more correctly of cultures”
(EN, 20). Pastoral care of marriage and the family needs to acknowledge
those positive elements that come together in different cultural and religious
experiences, which are a “praeparatio evangelica.” In the encounter with
cultures, however, an evangelization which is truly attentive to the needs of
the promoting the family cannot avoid boldy denouncing any form of pressure
coming from culture, society, politics or the economy. The growing hegemony of a
market logic, which upsets the times and places of genuine family life, also
contributes to worsening discrimination, poverty, exclusion and violence.
Various families, who are living in conditions of economic poverty, due to
unemployment, job insecurity or lack of social services and health care, not
infrequently, because of their inability to receive credit, become the victims
of usury and are sometimes forced to flee their homes and even their children.
In this regard, the suggestion was made to create appropriate economic
structures of support for these families or structures capable of promoting
familial and social solidarity.
92.. The family is “the first and vital cell of society” (AA, 11). The
family must rediscover its vocation to support life in society in all its
aspects. It is essential that families, through their associating one with the
other, find ways to interact with political, economic and cultural institutions
in order to build a more just society. In this regard, dialogue and cooperation
needs to be developed with various social entities, while encouragement and
support needs to be given to the laity, who are committed as Christians on the
cultural and socio-political level. In particular, policy-makers must respect
the principle of subsidiarity and not limit the rights of families. In this
regard, consideration needs to be given to The Charter of Rights of the
Family (cf. Pontifical Council for the Family, 22 October 1983) and The
Universal Declaration of Human Rights" (10 December 1948). For Christians
engaged in political life, the commitment to life and the family must take
priority, since a society that neglects the family has lost its access to the
future. Family associations, engaged in working together with groups of other
Christian traditions, have as their main aim, among others, promoting and
defending: life and the family; freedom of education; religious freedom; the
proper balancing of work-time and time for the family; the defense of women in
the workplace; and the protection of the right to conscientious objection.
Openness to Mission
93. Through Baptism, the Family of the Church is missionary by nature and
increases her faith in the act of sharing that faith with others, above all,
with her children. The very act of living a life of communion as a family is the
primary form of proclamation. In fact, evangelization begins in the family,
which transmits corporeal as well as spiritual life. The role of grandparents in
the transmission of the faith and religious practices should not be overlooked;
they are witnesses to the connection between generations and the guardians of
the great traditions of wisdom, prayer and good example. The family is thus an
agent of pastoral activity specifically through proclaiming the Gospel and
through its legacy of varied forms of witness, namely: solidarity with the poor;
openness to a diversity of people; the protection of creation; moral and
material solidarity with other families, especially the most needy; a commitment
to the promotion of the common good, also through the transformation of unjust
social structures, beginning in the territory in which the family lives; and
putting into practice the corporal and spiritual works of mercy and spiritual.
94. During this assembly, we synod fathers, gathered around Pope Francis,
experienced the tenderness and the prayer of the whole Church, we walked like
the disciples of Emmaus and recognized the presence of Christ in the breaking of
bread at the Eucharistic table, in fellowship and the sharing of pastoral
experiences. We hope that the result of this work, now delivered into the hands
of the Successor of Peter, might give hope and joy to many families in the
world, guidance to pastors and pastoral workers, and a stimulus to the work of
evangelization. In concluding this report, we humbly ask the Holy Father to
consider the possibility of issuing a document on the family, so that the
family, the domestic Church, might increasingly radiate Christ, who is the light
of the world.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
in you we contemplate
the splendour of true love,
to you we turn with trust.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
grant that our families too
may be places of communion and prayer,
authentic schools of the Gospel
and small domestic Churches.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
may families never again
experience violence, rejection and division:
may all who have been hurt or scandalized
find ready comfort and healing.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
make us once more mindful
of the sacredness and inviolability of the family,
and its beauty in God’s plan.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
graciously hear our prayer.
Amen
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