MOTHERS

How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about [arithmetic], and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? 

How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? 

 No; a woman’s function is laborious because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.

–G.K. Chesterton

2

 Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"

The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"

The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?"

3.

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"

His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."

Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!" (jokes from broadcaster.org.uk)

4. 

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

~Elizabeth Stone

5.
“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”

-Tenneva Jordan

6.

The blog ministry 'Hannah's Tears' offers prayer support and comfort to the brokenhearted who suffer the pains of infertility at any stage of life, difficult pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth, the loss of a child and the adoption process.

7.

If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want some coffee to go with it.

She'll pour herself some.

The coffee will get spilled by her three year old.

She'll wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she'll find some dirty socks.

She'll remember that she has to do some laundry.

When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over some shoes and bump into the freezer.

Bumping into the freezer will remind her that she has to plan a supper for tonight.

She will get out a pound of hamburger.

She'll look for her cookbook (101 Things with Hamburger)

The cookbook is under a pile of mail.

She will see the phone bill that is due tomorrow.

She will look for her checkbook

The checkbook is in her purse that is getting dumped out by her two year old.

Mom will smell something funny.

While she is changing the two year old, the phone will ring.

Her five year old will pick up and hang up the phone.

She will remember that she wants to phone a friend to come over for coffee on Friday.

Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.

She will pour herself some more.

And chances are,

if she has a cup of coffee, 

her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO MOM'S IN HEAVEN AND ON EARTH